*

Visiting English authors have a delightful trick of diagramming their
literary allusions. Only the few are irritated by it.

* * *

"And as I am in no sense a lecturer..."--Mr. Chesterton.

Seemingly the knowledge of one's limitations as a public entertainer
does not preclude one from accepting a fee five or ten times larger than
one would receive in London. We are languidly curieux de savoir how far
the American equivalent would get in the English capital.

* * *

You cannot "make Chicago literary" by moving the magazine market to that
city. Authors lay the scenes of their stories in New York rather than in
Chicago, because readers prefer to have the scene New York, just as
English readers prefer London to Manchester or Liverpool. If a story is
unusually interesting it is of no consequence where the scene is laid,
but most stories are only so-so and have to borrow interest from
geography.

* * *

THANKS TO MISS MONROE'S MAGAZINE.

Only a little while ago
The pallid poet had no show--
No gallery that he could use
To hang the product of his muse.

But now his sketches deck the walls
Of many hospitable halls,
And juries solemnly debate
The merits of the candidate.

* * *

TRADE CLASSICS.

Every trade has at least one classic. One in the newspaper trade
concerns the reporter who was sent to do a wedding, and returned to say
that there was no story, as the bridegroom failed to show up. Will a few
other trades acquaint us with their classics? It should make an
interesting collection.

Sir: The classic of the teaching trade: A school teacher saw a man on
the car whose face was vaguely familiar. "I beg your pardon," she said,
"but aren't you the father of two of my children?"

S. B.

Sir: The son of his father on a certain occasion, when the paper was
overset, objected to adding two pages, but in a moment of economical
inspiration agreed to permit one extra page.

C. D.

Sir: Don't forget the classic of dry stories. "An Irishman and a
Scotchman stood before a bar--and the Irishman didn't have any money."

L. A. H.

To continue, the Scotchman said: "Well, Pat, what are we going to have
to-day? Rain or snow?"

Sir: "If you can't read, ask the grocer." But I heard it differently. An
Englishman and an American read