tion instead of a road show, a certain party, whom I had met while
out on the one-night stands the season before, came stampeding into town
and it fell upon my fair young shoulders to show him the sights.
Query--Did I show him the sights? Answer--Yes, I did show him the
sights. If there was any place we didn't see it was because you had to
have an introduction to get in.

"Then Edward became inoculated with an idea that it would be a good plan
to consume all the booze on Broadway, thereby preventing others from
living intemperate lives. Such a chance. You know the new tunnel
couldn't hold the reserve supply of liquids that can report for duty at
a minute's notice on the corner of Forty-second and Broadway. The first
time I got hep to those proceedings was when I received the glad tidings
over the phone from a hospital steward that a friend of mine was trying
to bite holes in the detention sheet and shrieking my name.

"I grabbed a book on 'Pink Animals I Have Met' and flew to the rescue.
When I got to the cot there was Edward's cherubic mug peeping out from
under about four miles of nice clean bandages and an attendant sitting
daintily on his chest. When he saw me he calmed down and dismissed the
menagerie for the nonce. 'Dearie,' he said, taking my shrinking little
hand in his, 'it was awful. It's only by mere chance that you find me
custodian of this Reptile Bazar instead of one of these "mangled
remains" things. It was this way. I had been down to the bar lapping up
a few drinks and pretty soon a band comes up the street. I go out to
look it over and there is nothing in sight, so I go back and get Arthur
to mix me up another to see if it won't make me feel better. I drink
that and hear the band again. I run out just in time to see it hiding
behind the post. It's bum harmony at that, so I go upstairs to take a
nap.

"'I'm lying there on the bed when all of a sudden the door opens and in
marches twelve little soldiers, about six inches high, dressed in blue
pants and red coats. They climb and start to pull off a zouave drill on
the foot of the bed. That made me sour, for I don't feel like a military
pageant, so I lift up my foot and kick them out on the floor. The
soldiers don't say a word, but jump up and climb out through the
transom. In about five minutes the door opens and in marches the whole
army, all about six inches high. Gee, there must have been a million of
them, for all I could see was blue pants and red