wanted a home, not that I haven't been offered several, but I mean a
permanent one. But to continue about the benefit.

"Wilbur is going to manage it, and he expects to shake down enough to
start us housekeeping, but, of course, that is strictly under your hat,
and I pray you do not mention it. I think we can get Mr. Erlanger to let
us use the New York Theatre if we promise not to damage the fixtures. He
lets every other benefit have it and he certainly wouldn't object to a
few poor chorus girls pulling off a shindy, seeing as how they did so
much for his success.

"Suppose none of us had gone on in the chorus of 'Ben-Hur'? Just think
what would have happened. Didn't know there was a chorus in 'Ben-Hur'?
Say, what are you trying to do, kid me, or just show me a good time?

"I was around yesterday trying to get some of the oldtime merry-merry
who are now some of our leading actresses to appear at the benefit, but
they all threw a fit at the mere mention of the fact that they had once
carried a spear. For my part I see nothing degrading in the work, even
if we are held up to the gibes and chaff of some of these newspaper
near-humorists.

"It certainly is an honorable calling, and if you look good from the
front you can always have your pick of the menu. So that any dame that
can hand out the frightened fawn glance need never starve.

"Ain't it funny the way these Johns stick their noses to the ground and
start on the trail of 'the soldiers, villagers, etc.'? They'll pass up
anything just to be able to stick their arm through the stage door and
hand the doorkeeper a bunch of violets.

"They will leave Flossie, the belle of the village, waiting at the gate
any time a burlesque three-sheet shows up on the side of the blacksmith
shop. And right down front, with their feet on the base drum, handing
out the coy glances before the first curtain is a foot from the stage.

"Yep, I'm still rehearsing with 'The Mangled Doughnut,' and the author
of the book told me yesterday, in the strictest confidence, that it will
be the best first-night performance Hartford ever saw.

"He says he expects to stay up all that night rewriting the book, but he
is willing to sacrifice a few hours' sleep in the interest of Art. And
for the musical numbers, as we are rehearsing forty-two songs, some of
them ought to go. The only thing wrong with the show as far as I can see
is that the prima donna acts like she was in a trance. It is my persona