ped and asked me if he
hadn't been introduced to me in the Harlem Casino. At any other time I
would have taken his remark as a deep insult, inferring as it did that I
was so far from Forty-second street, but now I could have fell on his
neck and cried with joy. I told him that I had never met him in the
place he had mentioned, but to let it go at that, and if he even knew
where Harlem was it was introduction enough.

"Come to find out they were making a trip across the continent, and had
stopped there to get a little gasolene for the machine. We talked things
over and I found out that they knew several people I did, and anyway
they were from New York and that helped a heap. They were going to leave
that afternoon, but I prevailed upon them to stay over until the next
day. I was invited into the hotel for dinner, and we opened the first
bottle of champagne wine, as they say out West, that had been opened in
Emporia since the Governor went through. In truth, the bottle was
covered with specks, and the label had faded so you could hardly read
it, but when the cork went 'wop!' three traveling men at the next table
burst into tears.

"After we had consumed all the champagne wine they had in the snare, I
tipped them off to a speak-easy, and we decided to ride down there in
the machine, and then go for a little tour, as it were. By this time it
had been noised through the city that some one had taken the bottle out
of the show window, and a large crowd had assembled to see the
plutocrats come forth. We capered blithely out to the machine, climbed
in and hiked for the blind tiger. After the usual red tape the captain
sold us about two quarts of jig-juice--the kind that makes a jack-rabbit
spit in a bulldog's eye.

"Anon, we again went for a ride, and I am here to state that the way we
breezed through that village made the proverbial Kansas cyclone look as
if it was running on crutches. The inhabitants that didn't duck for the
cellars stood on the plankwalk and made rude and discomplimentary
remarks. Some well-meaning Rube had tipped his mitt to the town marshal,
and that worthy cluck had stretched a rope from the blacksmith shop to
the corner of the livery stable, so naturally we had to pause. Enter
Marshal R.U.E. with business of making a pinch. After filing the usual
protests we were haled before the Magistrate. Here's a copy of the
testimony:

Marshal--Judge, Your Honor, these prisoners are charged with
defacing l