et him go to
the Twenty-three Club dinner tonight. He has been training for the event
for the last two weeks, and he says that he will be able to outdistance
the bunch before 4 a.m., and you know that's going some.

"It's a pity they wouldn't let us women in on their feed deals. They go
out and fill up on beefsteak while we have to stick around and drown our
sorrows in a cheese sandwich. And goodness knows that while they are
nourishing they don't give you any new ideas.

"I only hope our show is a success, for if Wilbur and I get married
every penny will help, and I don't want to lance my personal fresh air
fund for anything more than a bridal veil. Wilbur and I are just like
two doves, but I am taking no chances, for press agents are fickle
people.

"With all due regard to Wilbur's feelings I must say that the agent of
our company is a dog. He had the nerve to come up to us girls and want
us to beat it up and down Broadway with signs boosting the show on our
backs. A doll would stand a swell chance in Jack's with a big sign
reading, 'Go see 'The Abused Cruller' at the Folly' on her vertebrae,
now wouldn't she?

"Can you see me as the walking three-sheet? I make exhibition enough of
myself on the stage without prancing up and down with one of those
things tied to my Fluffy Ruffles.

"I just had an awful time in Washington. One of the girls that dresses
in the same room with me came in with one of those crying buns on and
shed so many weeps in my makeup box that I had to put it on with an
atomizer.

"I did all a human being could do to bring her to--rubbed her hands and
slapped her face; but even then she was in no fit condition to appear.
Go on she would, in spite of my prayers, and what does she do when she
comes tripping on, blithe and gay as a school girl, but stumble and do a
slide on her profile half way across the O.P. side, just as the tenor
was starting the chorus to his song, 'Bevey in Little Children.' He
being a nervous party springs a blue note that got the musical director
hysterical and he forgot to give the bass drum man his cue and the whole
thing went to blazes.

"It was lucky that the stage manager was making a date on the dressing
room stairs, or what she would have got would have been a-plenty.

"You know Laura O'Toole who was married a few weeks ago? Well, she is
again a widow. Her husband got a job with a road show. She was thinking
of wearing mourning, but her husband staked her to the