the one clever party. He's going to organize a club
called 'The Human Nightkeys.' Any one that goes to bed before daylight
is barred. Lee Harrison offered his services as sergeant-of-arms to see
that the rule is observed.

"Now that Summer is coming on this sleep question is getting shoved off
in a dark corner by itself. It always was a waste of time.

"I don't care a whoop for the best man that breathes and now that I have
slipped Wilbur the go'-by I shall never fall in love with one of his sex
again. Tell muh, do I look all ri'. I haven't detailed the rest of this
adventure, have I? Well, I left Wilbur and met a nice quiet party that
was singing 'We're Afraid to Go Home in the Dark' over in Jack's and I
at once began to mingle. They were all good fellows, so I nearly gave
them heart trouble by ordering wine for the crowd.

"I will not endeavor to chronicle the amount of lush I tucked away. I
will only state that if I had not been a good friend to the bell hops I
never would have gotten upstairs.

"Estelle, that's muh maid, was sitting up with her face to the pane
waiting for me to come home, and just to show her how grateful I was I
gave her all of Wilbur's pictures and all the change I had in my
stocking. Waiter, you are forgetting your duties in part.

"I finally got to bed and then I pulled off the big cry. Booze, you
understand, and not because I lost that hot-air shooting, lush-working,
expense-account-grubbing wah of a Wilbur. I should say not. Don't think
that I wear pink tights and can't get the best man that ever breathed.

"I am not a bit like that Glonesganes creature. Why, she actually throws
herself at the head of every man she meets. Honest, you can't take her
out to supper in a crowd before she's engaged to some two or three in
the party. Fact. Ask any of the girls. We all swore to tell the same
story about her.

"Am I going back on the stage. Well, I should hope so, dear. What do you
think I would do with myself if I didn't have to beat it to the shop at
least once a day. I tried it once when I first got my fortune, but life
became so monotonous and I got so fat that I had to start rehearsing in
order to get back to my former self.

"Say, I think the last dipperful made me feel better. Waiter, come out
of your trance. Gee, but I do feel great.

"Won't you all have a little something to eat. A steak smothered in
pickles or something like that. Go as far as you like. You know I ain't
that kind