mine nor Fred's cock
being stiff. I expect that what with games, and our studies, that after
all the time we devoted to thinking about women, was not long, and
curiosity our sole motive in doing what we did. I clearly recollect our
talking at that time about fucking, and wondering if it were true or a
lie. We could repeat what we had read, and heard, but it still seemed
improbable to me that a cock should go up a cunt, and the result be a
child.

Then a passionate liking for females came over me; I fell in sort of
love with a lady who must have been forty, and had a sad feeling about
her, that is all I recollect. Then I began to follow servants about,
on the hope of seeing their legs, or seeing them piddle, or for some
undefined object: but that I was always looking after them, I know very
well.

Then (I know now) my father got into difficulties, we moved into a
smaller house, the governess went away, I was sent to another school,
one of my brothers and sisters died; my father went abroad to look after
some plantations, and after a year's absence came back and died,
leaving my mother, in what compared with our former condition, were poor
circumstances, but this in due course will be more fully told.

I think I went to school, though not long before what I am going to tell
of happened, but am not certain, if so, I must have seen boys frigging;
yet as far as I can arrange in my mind the order of events, I first saw
a boy doing that, in my own bed-room at home.

I was somewhere, I suppose, about thirteen years of age, when a distant
relative came from the country, to stay with us, until he was put to
some great school. He was the son of a clergyman, and must have been
fifteen, or perhaps sixteen years old, and was strongly pitted with the
small-pox. I had never seen him before, and took a strong dislike to
him; the family were poor, this boy was intended for a clergyman. I
was excessively annoyed, that he was to sleep with me, but in our small
house, there was just then no other place for him.

How many nights he slept in my bed, I don't recollect, it can have been
but few; One evening in bed he felt my prick; repulsing him at first, I
nevertheless afterwards felt his, and recollect our hands crossing each
other and our thighs being close together. Awaking one morning, I felt
his belly up against my rump, and his feeling or pushing his prick
against my arse, putting my hand back, I pushed him away; then I found
it p