ngs got intensified, when I thought of my aunt's backside,
and the cunts of my cousins, but when I thought of the heroines, it
seemed strange that such beautiful creatures should have any. The cunt
which seemed to have affected my imagination, was that of my aunt, which
appeared more like a great parting, or division of her body, than a cunt
as I then understood it; as if her buttock parting was continued round
towards her belly, and as unlike the young cunts I had seen as possible.
Those seemed to be but little indents. That the delicate ladies of the
novels should have such divisions seemed curious, ugly, and unromantic.
My sensuous temperament was developing, I saw females in all their
poetry and beauty, but suppose that my physical forces had not kept pace
with my brain, for I have no recollection of a cock-stand, when thinking
about ladies; and fucking never entered into my mind, either when I
read novels, or kissed women, though the pleasure I had when my lips met
theirs, or touched their smooth, soft cheeks was great. I recollect the
delight it gave me perfectly.

After having seen frigging, it set me reflecting, but it still seemed to
me impossible, that delicate, handsome ladies, should allow pricks to
be thrust up them, and nasty stuff ejected into them. I read Aristotle,
tried to understand it, and thought I did, with the help of much talk
with my schoolfellows; yet I only half believed it. Dogs fucking were
pointed out to me; then cocks treading hens, and at last a fuller belief
came.

I began then, I recollect, to think of their cunts when I kissed women,
and then of my aunt's; I could not keep my eyes off of her, for thinking
of her large backside and the gap between her thighs; it was the
same with my cousins. Then I began to have cock-stands and suppose a
pleasurable feeling about the machine, though I do not recollect that. I
then found out that servants were fair game, and soon there was not one
in the house whom I had not kissed. I had a soft voice and have heard,
an insinuating way, was timorous, feared repulse, and above all being
found out; yet I succeeded. Some of the servants must have liked it,
who called me a foolish boy at first; for they would stop with me on a
landing, or in a room, when we were alone, and let me kiss them for a
minute together. There was one, I recollect, who rubbed her lips into
mine, till I felt them on my teeth, but of what she was like, I have no
recollection, and I di