: 'Here, give me hold of
them soldiers. Is that a way to run an army?"

"And besides, Abe," Morris said, "there's a great many people in this
country, including Mr. Roosevelt, which believes that the only man which
has got any license to say how the army should ought to be run is Mr.
Roosevelt, y'understand, and ever since we got into this war, Abe, them
fellers has been hanging around looking at Mr. Wilson like a crowd
watching a feller gilding the ball on the top of the Metropolitan
Tower, not wishing the feller any harm, y'understand, and hoping that he
will either get away with it unhurt or make the drop while they are
still standing there."

"They ain't so patient like all that, Mawruss," Abe said. "Them fellers
has got so tired waiting for Mr. Wilson to fall down on his job that
they now want to drag him down or, anyhow, trip him up."

"Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say that," Morris declared, "but it
looks to me that when Mr. Roosevelt read the results of the Senate
investigations, y'understand, he wasn't as much shocked and surprised as
he would have liked to have been, although to hear Senator Chamberlain
talk you might think that what them investigations showed was bad enough
to satisfy not only Mr. Roosevelt, but the Kaiser and his friends, also,
when, as a matter of fact, the worst that any good American can say
about Mr. Wilson as a result of them investigations is that instead of
hiring angels who performed miracles, y'understand, he hired human
beings who made mistakes."

"Sure, I know," Abe said. "But the worst thing of all that Mr. Wilson
did was to say that Senator Chamberlain was talking wild when he made a
speech about how every department of the government had practically gone
to pieces, which Senator Chamberlain says that no matter how wild he may
have talked before, nobody ever accused him that he talked wild in all
the twenty-four years he has held public office."

"Well, that only goes to show how wild some people talk, Abe," Morris
said, "because when a man has held office for twenty-four years, talking
wild is the very least people accuse him of."

"But as a matter of fact, Mawruss, a feller from Oregon was telling me
that Senator Chamberlain has held public office ever since eighteen
eighty," Abe said. "He has run for everything from Assemblyman to
Governor, and if he ain't able to remember by fourteen years how long he
has held public office, Mawruss, how could he blame Mr. Wilson f