nd one orphan
asylum with an awful short name."

"Did it occur to you that you could give the Bella Hirshkind Home four
dollars and sixty cents and leave it out of your income-tax return
altogether?" Morris suggested.

"Listen!" Abe said. "I ain't trying to invent ways of getting around
what looks like the only good feature of this here income-tax return,
Mawruss. If Mr. McAdoo or President Wilson or whoever it was that fixed
up this here paper thought that the average man didn't need more as
three lines to put down his charities in, Mawruss, who am I that I
should set my opinion up against theirs? Am I right or wrong?"

"Well, for that matter, Abe," Morris said, "if you are up against it for
space to fill in about the Bella Hirshkind Home, how many lines did Mr.
McAdoo leave me to write in about you and Feigenbaum?"

"Me and Feigenbaum?" Abe repeated.

"Sure!" Morris said. "The time you and him had the argument should it be
pronounced Bol_shev_iki or Bolshe_vee_ki."

"Well, I was right, wasn't I?" Abe demanded.

"Certainly you were right," Morris replied. "But the question is, do I
put in the fifteen-hundred-dollar order he canceled on us under
'EXPLANATION OF LOSSES OF BUSINESS PROPERTY' or under 'J. GENERAL
DEDUCTIONS NOT REPORTED ON PAGE THREE'?"

"Put it in the same place where I would put the money which I lost from
having got it a partner which wastes dollars' and dollars' worth of time
on me every day by arguing about things which arguing couldn't help,"
Abe advised. "Because with this here income-tax proposition, Mawruss, if
you are going to waste so much time arguing about what you have lost
that you couldn't be able to remember by April first what you made,
y'understand, you would lose in addition a thousand dollars more and
fifty per cent. of the amount of the tax due, and you couldn't have the
consolation of blaming it on your partner, neither."

"It seems to me, Abe," Morris commented, "that the government makes a
big mistake limiting you to April first, because I already figured my
income tax out six times and it comes to a hundred dollars more every
time, which if they would only give me till, say, the first of August,
y'understand, I might be able to figure it out a couple dozen times more
and pay the government some real big money."

"With me, Mawruss," Abe said with a sigh, "sometimes it's more and
sometimes it's less, but it only goes to show how if a business man is
going to have such a