hen I
was by Old Man Baum we had a customer by the name Harris Feinsilver,
which if you only get him started on how he heard Jenny Lind at what is
now the Aquarium in Battery Park somewheres around eighteen hundred and
fifty-two, y'understand, you could sell him every sticker in the place,
and him and me went often on the opera together. In fact I got so that I
didn't mind it at all, and that's how I become acquainted with the
different grades of singers which works by grand opera. Take, for
instance, sopranos, and they come in two classes. There is the soprano
which hollers murder police and they call her a dramatic soprano. And
then again there is the soprano which gargles. That is a coloratura
soprano."

"And people is paying forty dollars an orchestra seat to hear a woman
gargle?" Morris exclaimed.

"Of course I don't say she actually gargles, y'understand," Abe
explained, "anyhow not all the time, Mawruss. Once in a while she sings
a song which has got quite a tune in it pretty near up to the end, and
then she carries on something terrible anywheres from two to eight
minutes till the feller that runs the orchestra couldn't stand it no
longer and he gives them the signal they should drown her out."

[Illustration: "Take, for instance, sopranos, and they come in two
classes. There is the soprano which hollers murder police and they call
her a dramatic soprano. And then again there is the soprano which
gargles. That is a coloratura soprano."]

"I should think he would get to know when it is coming on her and drown
her out before she starts," Morris said.

"What do you mean--drown her out before she starts?" Abe continued.
"That's what she gets paid for--carrying on in such a manner, and them
people up in the top gallery goes crazy over it."

"Then why don't the feller which runs the orchestra let her keep it up?"
Morris asked.

"A question!" Abe said. "There is from forty to fifty men working in the
orchestra, and if the feller which runs it let them top-gallery people
have their way it would cost him a fortune for overtime for them fellers
that plays the fiddles alone."

"He should arrange a wage scale accordingly," Morris said, "because it
don't make no difference if it's the garment business or the grand-opera
business, Abe, the customer should ought to come first."

"_I_ always felt that I got _my_ money's worth, Mawruss," Abe said. "In
particular when it comes to one of them operas with a coloratura so