rindle fringe, from Ma, and Pa gave me a pair of his old
suspenders, and a calender with mottoes for every month, some quotations
from scripture, such as 'honorthy father and mother,' and 'evil
communications corrupt two in the bush,' and 'a bird in the hand beats
two pair.' Such things don't help a boy to be good. What a boy wants is
club skates, and seven shot revolvers, and such things. Well, I must
go and help Pa roll over in bed, and put on a new porous plaster. Good
bye."

CHAPTER XXIX.

HIS PA GOES CALLING--HIS PA STARTS FORTH--A PICTURE OF THE
OLD MAN "FULL "--POLITENESS AT A WINTER PICNIC--ASSAULTED BY
SANDBAGGERS--RESOLVED TO DRINK NO MORE COFFEE--A GIRL FULL
OF "AIG NOGG."

"Say, you are getting too alfired smart," said the grocery man to the
bad boy as he pushed him into a corner by the molasses barrel, and took
him by the neck and choked him so his eyes stuck out. "You have driven
away several of my best customers, and now, confound you, I am going to
have your life," and he took up a cheese knife and began to sharpen it
on his boot.

"What's the--gurgle--matter," asked the choking boy, as the grocery
man's fingers let up on his throat a little, so he could speak. "I haint
done nothin."

"Didn't you hang up that dead gray torn cat by the heels, in front of
my store, with the rabbits I had for sale? I didn't notice it until
the minister called me out in front of the store, and pointing to the
rabbits, asked what good fat cats were selling for. By crimus, this
thing has got to stop. You have got to move out of this ward or I will."

The boy got his breath and said it wasn't him that put the cat up there.
He said it was the policeman, and he and his chum saw him do it, and he
just come in to tell the grocery man about it, and before he could speak
he had his neck nearly pulled off. The boy began to cry, and the grocery
man said he was only joking, and gave him a box of sardines, and they
made up. Then he asked the boy how his Pa put in his New Years, and the
boy sighed and said:

"We had a sad time at our house New Years. Pa insisted on making calls,
and Ma and me tried to prevent it, but he said he was of age, and
guessed he could make calls if he wanted to, so he looked at the morning
paper and got the names of all the places where they were going to
receive, and he turned his paper collar, and changed ends with his
cuffs, and put some arnica on his handkerchief, and starte