e was called Milt, in honor of the Blind Poet, and the other claimed
the following brief Monicker, to wit: Henry.

These two Pillars of Society had marched at the head of the Women and
School Children during the Dry Movement which banished King Alcohol
from their Fair City.

As a result of their Efforts, Liquor was not to be obtained in this
Town except at the Drug Stores and Restaurants or in the Cellar
underlying any well-conducted Home.

For Eleven Months and Three Weeks out of every Calendar Year these two
played Right and Left Tackle in the Stubborn Battle to Uplift the
Community and better the Moral Tone.

They walked the Straight and Narrow, wearing Blinders, Check-Reins,
Hobbles and Interference Pads.

Very often a Mother would hurry her little Brood to the Front Window
when Milt or Henry passed by, carrying under his arm a Package of Corn
Flakes and the Report of the General Secretary in charge of Chinese
Missionary Work.

"Look!" she would say, indicating Local Paragon with index Finger. "If
you always wash behind the Ears and learn your Catechism, you may grow
up to be like Him."

But--every Autumn, about the time the Frost is on the Stock Market
and Wall Street is in the Shock, Milt and Henry would do a Skylark
Ascension from the Home Nest and Wing away toward the rising Sun.

They called it Fall Buying because both of them Bought and both of them
Fell.

At Home neither of them would Kick In for any Pastime more worldly than
a 10-cent M. P. Show depicting a large number of Insane People falling
over Precipices.

The Blow-Off came on the Trip to the City. That was the Big
Entertainment.

Every Nickel that could be held out went into the little Tin Bank, for
they knew that when they got together 100 of these Washers, a man up
in New York would let them have some Tiffany Water of Rare Vintage,
with a Napkin wrapped around it as an Evidence of Good Faith.

On Winter Evenings Milt would don the Velvet Slippers and grill his
Lower Extremities on the ornate Portico such as surrounds every high-
priced Base-Burner.

While thus crisping himself he loved to read New Notes from Gotham.

He believed what it said in the Paper about a well-known Heiress having
the Teeth of her favorite Pomeranian filled with Radium at a Cost of
$120,000.

Whenever he got this kind of a Private Peek into the Gay Life of the
Modern Babylon, he began to breathe through his Nose and tug at the
Leash.

He longed to da