expected to open Negotiations
by removing the Right Eye and laying it on the Table.

Pa had Mormon Whiskers and a Mackerel Eye and wore a Shawl instead of
an Overcoat and kept a little Bag of Peppermint Drops in his Tail-
Pocket and walked Pussy-Foot and took more Stock in Isaiah than he did
in the Sermon on the Mount.

The Above is merely a Rough Outline, but it will help you to understand
why his Wife preceded him to the Other Shore.

She was a Good Woman who never formed the Matinee Habit and up to the
Day of her Death she could put her Hand on her Heart and truly say she
had not wasted any Money on Jewelry or Cut Flowers.

But she could have written a large Book on how it feels to get up in
the Morning and stir a little Oatmeal.

Pa and Ma saved and skimped and held out and trimmed and maneuvered for
Years.

They had been brought up in the School of Hard Knocks, but they wanted
Bertrand and Isabel to go through Life on Ball Bearings.

Pa finally went to his Reward, according to the Local Paper, and then
it came out that Bertrand and Isabel had $400,000 each, which was more
than Pa had ever turned in to the Assessor.

These two Children had been sheltered from the Great World, although
never stinted in the matter of Sassafras Tea or the Privilege of
reading Books written by Josephus and others.

As soon as he came into his inheritance, Bertrand looked about in a
startled Manner and then bought himself a Plush Hat and began to
cultivate Pimples.

A few Days later he might have been seen riding in a Demonstrating Car
with a Salesman who wore Goggles and who told him that all the Swell
Guys were putting in Orders for the $6,200 Type with the jeweled Mud-
Guards. And next Morning the Sexton observed that Father, by turning
over in the Grave, had somewhat loosened the fresh Earth.

Bertrand had Modern Plumbing put into the Old House and built a Porte
Cochere on the Side and moved a lot of Red Velvet Furniture into the
Parlor. Some said that the Moaning Sound heard at Night was only the
Wind in the Evergreens, but others allowed that it was the returned
Spirit of the Loan Agent checking over the Expenses.

Isabel stopped wearing Things that scratched her and began ordering
from a Catalogue, because the Local Dealers didn't carry anything but
Common Stuff. Also she began to Entertain, and the first time she
served Hot-House Asparagus in January, the House rocked on its
Foundations.

Bertrand soon knew t