ack appeared in one of the most expensive
Monuments in Springvale Cemetery, as if some one underneath had been
trying to break out and Head Off something.

In preserving the form of a Narrative it becomes necessary to add that
Bertrand is now the obliging Night Clerk at a Hotel in Louisville, with
a Maximum Rate of $1.50 Single and a Shower Bath.

Brother-in-Law is Assistant Treasurer at a Temple of Amusement which
guarantees all the latest and best Films.

What became of the Bundle?

Listen.

When Pa locked up his Desk and started for the Pearly Gates, he left
behind in the office an humble Man Friday, who took care of the Books
and did the Collecting.

This Understrapper was a Model Citizen of 35 who wore a plain String
Tie, drank Malted Milk and was slightly troubled with Bronchitis.

When the Children began throwing it at the Birds, he bought himself a
Net and got Busy.

Any time Anybody wanted to plaster a Mortgage on a Desirable Corner he
was there with a Fountain Pen and a Notary.

It nearly broke his Back to carry all the Property, but he kept buying
it in and then hung over his Desk until all Hours of the Night figuring
how he could meet the Payments.

He wore the same Overcoat for nine years and his Wife never saw one of
those Hats with Bagoozulum and Bazoosh flounced all over it unless she
went down town and looked through a Window.

One Day a friend remonstrated with the Slave.

"Why are you wearing yourself to a Shadow and getting Old before your
Time?" he asked. "What shall it avail a Man if he is Principal
Depositor at a Bank when it comes to riding behind Horses that wear
Plumes?"

"I will tell you," replied the Slave. "I have a Boy named Bertrand and
a little Girl named Isabel and my Wife and I have decided that it is
our Duty to leave them Well-Fixed."

MORAL: Somebody must rake up the Leaves before the Young People can
have a successful Bon-Fire.

THE UNDECIDED BACHELORS

Once upon a Time two Mavericks lived together in a Cubby-Hole in a
European Hotel in a surging Metropolis.

They worked for a grinding Corporation, each pulling down a Stipend
that enabled him to indulge in Musical Comedies, Rotation Pool, Turkish
Cigarettes, Link Buttons and other Necessities of Life.

Often they would put their Feet on the Window Sill and talk about the
Future.

They said that every Man should have a Home of his Own. To the Beanery
thrice a Day and then back to the Box Stall was no L