Company.

Then they would Dear each other until the Premises became Sticky and
she would even coax up a Ripple of Fake Laughter when he pulled some
Wheeze that used to go Great the Year they were engaged. But the
Moment the last Guest closed the Front Door, the Dove of Peace would
beat it and another domestic Gettysburg would drive the Servants to
Cover.

After this had been going on for several Seasons he happened to get
hold of a Powerful Work, written by a Popular Novelist (Unmarried), who
made a psychological Dissection of a Woman's Soul and then preached a
Funeral Sermon over the Dead Love that once blossomed in the Heart of
the Heroine.

After he read this Tragedy of flickered Romance, he felt like a Pup.

He perceived that he had been in the Wrong.

The Novelist taught him that his Cue was to bear with the Weaker Vessel
and to keep the Honeysuckle of True Affection pruned and watered by
Devotion and Sacrifice.

Therefore, he made one large Vow to cut out the Rough Stuff.

Next Morning when the Queen of the Amazons put on her Paint and
Feathers and began to beat the big War Drum there was Nothing Doing.

He refused to enter the blood-stained Arena, and when she came after
him he fell over and took the Count before a Punch had been delivered.

Before starting for the Office he Kissed her a couple of times and gave
her some Massage Treatment around the Shoulder Blades and called her
"Toots"--a Term of Endearment which had been rusting on the Shelf ever
since they used it at Niagara Falls.

She was so dazed by this Reversal of Form that she peeked from the
Front Window and watched him clear to the Corner, convinced that he was
on his way to meet Another Woman.

He came home that Evening with a Jar of Candied Nuts, and when Mrs.
Simon Legree demanded the Name of the Hussy he simply pulled a
Yearning Smile and invited her to go ahead and use him as a Punching-Bag.

Next day she put a Newspaper around the Bird Cage and tied up the
Geraniums and took the unfinished Tatting and Blew.

When she walked in on her Own People, with the Declaration that all
Bets were off, they wanted to know all about it, and she said a
Spirited Woman couldn't keep on rooming with a Guinea-Pig.

MORAL: Contempt breeds Familiarity.

THE LOCAL PIERPONT

One day a regularly appointed Bank Inspector went into a Stronghold of
Finance situated in a One-Night Stand and found the President of the
Institution crying all over th