utt whose Mission in
Life was to Lie Down and Behave.

Rufus would be aroused each Sunrise by a full Military Band of 60
Pieces playing "Hail to the Chief who in Triumph Advances."

Whenever Edgar was forced into a Battle and came home smeared and
disarranged, his Mother would go to her Room and Cry softly and Father
would paint a vivid Word-Picture of a Wretch standing on the Gallows
with a Black Cap over his Head.

Then Edgar would crawl to the Hay Mow and brood over his Moral
Infirmities and try in a groping way to figure out his Relation to
Things in General.

But, when Rufus appeared all dripping with Gore, his Seconds would cool
him out and rub him with Witch Hazel and pin Medals on him.

No wonder he became as pugnacious as U. S. Grant, as conceited as a
Successful Business Man and as self-assured as a Chautauqua Lecturer.

Every one disliked him intensely. But just the same, they stepped off
into the Mud and gave him the entire double width of the Cement
Sidewalk.

Edgar, on the other hand, was one of the most popular Door-Mats that
ever had "Welcome" marked up and down his Spinal Column.

All those who scratched Matches on him and used him as a Combination
Hall-Tree and Hitching Post used to remark that he didn't have an Enemy
in the World.

They had corralled his Goat, so he had to play the Part himself.

It had been dinged into him that True Politeness means to wait until
every one else has been Served and then murmur a few Thanks for the
Leavings.

Besides, his Parents had convinced him that if he went Fishing he
wouldn't get a Nibble, and if he climbed a Tree he would fall and break
his Leg, and if he tried to manipulate more than Two Dollars at one
time, he would go Blind.

Therefore, when both were in College, Rufus acted as plunging Half-
Back, with Blue Smoke coming from his Nostrils, and achieved the
undying Distinction of being singled out by Walter Camp.

Edgar sat up on the Bleachers with 2,000 other Mere Students and lent a
quavering Tenor to a Song about Alma Mater.

Even the Undergrads could not take the Tuck out of Rufus.

He was fresher than Green Paint and his Work was Raw, but he was so
Resilient that no one could pin him to the Mat and keep him there.

When a Boy has been told 877 times a Day for many Years that he is the
Principal Feature of the Landscape, it takes more than an ordinary
Doctoring to Cure him.

He left College thoroughly convinced that the World was hi