would vent Delight
over the Fact that the Legislature had passed Game Laws.

One day at Luncheon Father got so Steamy that he had to blow off. So
he opened up on Son and practically wiped him off the Map. He sure
burned him Alive.

He kidded the whole Make-Up and said he was the Male Parent of a
Champion Gillie, whatever that is.

He said the Hat was a Scream and the Overcoat was a Riot and the
overlapping Collar with the dinky Four-in-Hand was a Comic Supplement,
and why had such a Freak been wished on to a hard-headed Business Man.

He laughed brutally at the low comedy Shoes with the swollen
Promontories and the Trousers with the double Reef and the folding
Cuffs and the Hair with the Patent-Leather Gloss.

Mother sat back tapping her Foot and trying to hold in, but she was
Sore as a Crab, for she loved her Lambkin.

Finally she could not stand it any longer, so she rushed to the Boudoir
and produced from [a] Bureau Drawer the Tintype which Papa had slipped
to her just 8 weeks before they faced the Justice of the Peace at
Akron, Ohio.

It was the True likeness of a Male Hyena whose Hair was combed low on
the Forehead into a gummy and passionate Cow-Lick.

He had one of those Gates Ajar Collars that was primarily intended to
display the Adam's Apple in all of its naked Splendor.

The Shirt was ruffled the same as the Lingerie in an Advertisement, and
the Watch Chain was of Human Hair, which is now regarded as a
Penitentiary Offense.

The Boutonniere was a Carnation against a Leaf of Geranium with Tin
Foil below, which is no longer being done in the Best Families.

The form-fitting Trousers led gradually down to Congress Gaiters
pointed on the End like Nut-Picks.

Father took one Peek at Exhibit A and then gave Albert a V and told
him to hunt up some of his Boy Friends and take them to a Matinee at
the Orpheum.

MORAL: Whatever you may be, your Parents were more so at the same Age.

THE END

[Colophon]
THE COUNTRY LIFE PRESS
GARDEN CITY N. Y.

[Transcriber's notes:
Accents and the tilde have been deleted to make a 7-bit file.
The reading "G. M." for "A. M." has been retained, since it occurs twice.
Line 1452: should it be "an Orator never has been known to Decline"?
Line 1627: "go Blind" substituted for "go Blink"
Line 1937: "Ory-Eyed" in text; is "Dry-Eyed" meant?
Line 2226: i.e., Menu]

End of the Project Gutenberg EBook of Knocking the Neighbors, by George Ade

*** EN