leading naval foe?
But now you learn, a little late--
So loud the rumours from the sea grow--
England's the thing you have to hate,
And not (for instance) Montenegro.

The facts are just as you've been told;
Further disguise would be but vain;
We have a _penchant_ from of old
For being masters on the main;
It is a custom which we caught
From certain sea-kings who begat us,
And that is why we like the thought
That you propose to "up and at" us.

Come where you will--the seas are wide;
And choose your Day--they're all alike;
You'll find us ready where we ride
In calm or storm and wait to strike;
But--if of shame your shameless Huns
Can yet retrieve some casual traces--
Please fight our men and ships and guns,
Not women-folk and watering-places.

O. S.

* * * * *

UNWRITTEN LETTERS TO THE KAISER.

No. XI.

(_From the GERMAN CROWN PRINCE_.)

MOST INTERNALLY (_INNIGST_) BELOVED FATHER,--Here in my headquarters we
learnt with sorrow that you have been suffering from a bronchial
catarrh. Anxious as we were at first, our minds were relieved when we
heard that you had behaved very violently to those about you, for in
that we recognised our good old father as we knew him from long since,
and we said to ourselves that you could not fail soon to be in the
saddle again with all your accustomed energy. And now comes the report
that you are indeed yourself again, like _Richard III_, in our great
German, SHAKSPEARE.

Now that all danger is past I cannot forbear giving you from my heart a
word of warning, begging you not with rashness to risk your so valuable
life. Do not laugh and imagine that I am pulling your leg (_dass ich Dir
das Bein ziehe_). Nothing is further from my thoughts; I am quite
serious. You must remember that you are not so young as you were and
that this rushing to and fro between France and Poland, which to a man
of my age would be a mere trifle, bringing with it only enjoyment, must
be for a man who is between fifty and sixty a task well calculated to
search out and expose his corporeally weak points so as to bring
satisfaction, not to us, but to the enemy. Such a burden must no longer
be placed only upon your back, for there are others whose bones are
young and who are willing to share it with you. Why should we be
compelled to sit still or merely to beat our back with fists while you,
dear Father, under