s. Kyte and Kyte also make a Service Fountain Pen
which not only acts as a pen but also as a clinical thermometer and
pipe-cleaner. It has furthermore an attachment for removing stones from
horses' feet. Made in gold, it is a most becoming Yuletide gift.

* * * * *

Illustration: "AND WHAT CAN I GET FOR YOU, SIR?"

"I'M LOOKING FOR MY FATHER. HAS HE BEEN IN HERE? HE'S AN OLD MAN 'BOUT
THIRTY-SEBEN."

* * * * *

A CREDIBILITY INDEX.

"This Poland business is still rather hard to follow," said my wife
plaintively, after consulting the latest newspaper map pinned over the
mantelpiece, "and I know it's tremendously important. I wish they
wouldn't keep fighting in small villages that aren't marked; and really
beyond the bare fact that both armies repeatedly surround one another
simultaneously it is not at all easy to gather just what they are at."

"The whole thing would be as clear as day," said my sister-in-law, who
likes to be regarded as an authority on land operations--I am myself our
Naval Expert--"if only one knew what to believe. Have the Germans
occupied Przsczwow or have they not?"

"I think they must have done. Last night's paper said that it was
believed that Przsczwow was officially occupied, and it says here that
it is officially stated that Przsczwow is believed to be occupied."

"It's only partially official," said I, who had carefully collated the
reports on the point. "It was semi-official from Amsterdam, official
from Berlin, considered to emanate from a good source in Rome, and
unofficially denied in Petrograd."

"It _must_ be true," said my wife.

"You were always a good believer, dear," said I. "I doubt if I know any
one who has believed as much in sheer quantity as you have since the war
began. You know you swallowed that yarn about----"

"Don't you think," my wife broke in hastily (for she simply hates to be
reminded of the Russians in England), "that we ought to have a sort of
index to judge these rumours by?"

"I see," said I. "One hundred for absolute reliability. _Nil_ for the
perfect and utter lie."

The table which resulted was hung up beside the map for reference; I
recommend it for general use.

London, Paris or Petrograd (official)............... 100
" " " (semi-official).......... 50
Berlin (official)................................... 25
It is believed in military circles here tha