d you know all the people round here, I suppose?"

"Nearly everyone I should think within five miles of the village."

"I've been here a fortnight and this is the first time I have been
out--not out-of-doors, of course--I mean meeting people."

At that moment my neighbour upon the left commenced a bombardment which
interrupted us but, when a pause came at last, the wee lieutenant broke
it in a low and solemn voice.

"I suppose you couldn't tell me why a deaf man can't tickle nine
children?"

So suddenly had matters come to a head that I sat staring, and the wee
lieutenant, misunderstanding my interest, grew red.

"I'm not mad, really and truly, but that thing is positively getting on
my brain. I'm not very keen on riddles and so forth, but I happened to
hear someone ask that one the other day, and I didn't catch the answer.
Somehow it has worried me ever since. Why can't he tickle them?"

I shook my head. "I never saw anybody attempt it, deaf or otherwise.
Hadn't you better ask the person who propounded the question?"

"I--I can't very well--I wish I could. I thought, if you knew the answer
to the riddle, you might know the person who asked it. It's very hard to
get to know people by yourself, isn't it?"

I lured him into the open. "How did you come to hear it?"

He pondered in silence for a moment with his frank eyes bent upon his
plate.

"I don't mind telling you, but I shouldn't like everyone to know; they
might think me a bit of a fool."

I promised discretion.

"Well, the other morning I was up on the common kicking a football about
with some of the men--it's good for them and keeps them from getting too
much beer, and I like it myself--football, I mean, not beer--and some
people came and sat down to watch on the roller, and there was a Yellow
Jersey among them."

"But what a curious place for a cow--on a roller."

The wee lieutenant twinkled. "And she was rather nice, you know."

I nodded, thinking to myself that this young man would never make "an
Eye-Witness with Headquarters," whatever else the fortunes of war might
bring him.

"Well, that evening we were out scouting, trying to find out where a
party of cavalry had got to that had been reported coming out from
King's Langley to take us by surprise, and when I got to a cottage with
its blinds down and a light inside I peeped in, and there were two or
three people, and she was there, and, of course, I had to knock to ask
if any cavalry had g