nd Forgerry.

"'If a six-pound baby comes to one of your subskribers, you warnter size
the farther up, and if he's good for twenty-five segars the babys got
ter be twelve pounds. If he's good for fifty make it eighteen pounds,
and if he sends round a hole box, with the notis, the baby's got to turn
into twins. This wuld be a case of magnifycashun. It shos jurnerlistick
enterprise. Y, I've known cases where a puny 8-pound boy got to be
bouncin triplets, mother and babies doin' well, all cos their papa
had cents enuf to send sum wiskey 'long with the segars. Those are the
principel points to bare in mind, and if you follow em up rite, you'll
become a grate and good jurnerlist. If you ever run short of sensashuns,
get on the track of the "mercury" liar and foller him up, till you
strike his mine of valuabel infer-mashun.'

"'How long are you goin' to be in the city, Mr. Perkins?'

"'Only a few days. I'm here fixin' up my fenses, and puttin' in a bid
for the nommenashun for the Preserdency. I'm orful anxyus to run agin'
Ben Butler.'

"'Is there enything else startlin' that you know, Mr. Perkins?' queried
our rep-rysentativ.

"'Yes, but you musn't give it away, cos I'm short on Pullman stok. Do
you see this?' said he, holdin' up a peece of cotton, 'bout six inches
square. 'Well I come down from Albanie on a sleeper last nite, and this
morning I mistook one of the sheets for my hankerchef, and this thing is
the sheet, but don't menshun it, cos it'll make the stok jump a foot.'

"'Good mornin', Mr. Perkins, wenever I run short of lies I'll call
agen.'"

CHAPTER VIII.

A CONVENSHUN OF THE DUDE DEMMERCRAZEY,--A COUNTRY DELEGAIT.--
THE EDITHER GETS NOMMERNATED FOR GOVERNOR, AND GEORGIE
SMOKES A $15,000 SEGAR.

There's something to pay to-day, is wot the edither sed to the casheer
tonite, wen I walked up to the desk for my $2 in munney and a bushell of
gloryfycashun.

Yes, it was to pay all day in town, cos there was a convenshun of the
Dude Dem-mercrazey in the Grand Opera House, and the candydates had all
the salloons leesed, and war busy servin out free wisky, like they've
got in O-i-o.

Mr. Diry, did you ever see a full-bludded Demmercratic delegait from a
country village? Well, jist immagin a tall, leen, lank indyvidooal, with
long hare, slouch hat, a knoes wot looked like it'd been in collishun
with a elderberrie pie, and a sute of cloes wot was bort wen old Father
Adam's wardrope of fig l