row. The gals then go thru a lot of
moshuns, dansin the racket, and Gussy sets 'em up.

"The furst scene of Act III. is in Henryettur's privat boodywar. She
walks round, holdin a big sunflower in her hand, and calls it to witness
that if her dare Gussy don't make up his mind purty soon to marry her,
the tender thred wot holds her to this mundain spere will soon cum to
a too utterly utter, suddint round turn. Then she whispers sumthin to
herself, and jumps bout a foot, and xclaims, in a anty-assthetik voice:
'I will do it! By the misterious hare, hidden in the opake depths of
10-cent-a-plate ice-creme, I will do it!'

"The scene then changes to a rehursal in the theattur, with Gussy
looking at the bailey. All on a suddint a gal comes dancin out
on tip-toes and movin her hands round like she was playin'
skippin'-the-rope. Her close is purty, ony they're a good deal more
shrunken than wot the other gals had on, and her lower xtremer-ties look
like she was smugglin' cotton from New Orleans. Gussy then gets mashed
on her rite away, and she don't 'pare to mind it a bit, cos she sot rite
down on his knee, and they begun a-talkin' awful soft. Purty soon she
jumped 'bout six feet, wen Gussy shoved a pin inter her stockins. Then
he reckernized her as Henryettur, and the bailey bring on the happey
denewment act, by balleyin' round wile Gussy and Henryettur 'mbrace and
kiss each other, and the property man lifts up his hands and sez:

"Henryettur, you had better Go put on your cloesietter, Cos you are too
utter utter, Drest all in your hosieryetter; Gussy, you must let her,
let her, And I'm sure you'll like her better Wen you've settur, settur,
settur, And we've drunk to your dudetter."

CHAPTER XII.

A OLD BILL.--THE EDITTUR GETS A FORTUNE FROM OSSTRAILYER.--
SAMANTHY LONGTUNG AS THE BLUSHING BRIDE EXPECTENT.--THE END
JESTERFIES THE MEENS.

The edittur was lookin outer the winder this mornin, wen, who should he
spie cummin up the offis steps, but Miss Samanthy Longtung, that's my
Sundy skule teecher, wots sweet forty and aint never had a mash. He sed,
he guessed he'd better not be to home, so I'd hav to stand her off, cos
she'd cum to collect the quarter, wot he'd forgot to pay, wen he eat
that plate of injy-rubber oyster supe at the church festival, bout a
yere ago.

Wen Miss Longtung cum in, she reck-ernized me, and congratulated me on
enterin such a onherabel perfesshun. Then she kissed me rite on t