ime and eight thousand that
haven't happened to happen. If he had his way th' United States navy wud
be so big that there wudden't be room f'r a young fellow to row his girl
in Union Park. He can see a war cloud where I can't see annything but
somebody cookin' his dinner or lightin' his pipe. He'd made th' gr-reat
foreign iditor an' he'd be fine f'r th' job f'r he's best late at night.

"Hogan says th' time has come f'r th' subjick races iv th' wurruld to
rejooce us fair wans to their own complexion be batin' us black and
blue. Up to now 'twas: 'Sam, ye black rascal, tow in thim eggs or I'll
throw ye in th' fire. 'Yassir,' says Sam. 'Comin',' he says. 'Twas: 'Wow
Chow, while ye'er idly stewin' me cuffs I'll set fire to me unpaid
bills.' I wud feel repaid be a kick,' says Wow Chow. 'Twas: 'Maharajah
Sewar, swing th' fan swifter or I'll have to roll over f'r me dog whip.'
'Higgins Sahib,' says Maharajah Sewar, 'Higgins Sahib, beloved iv Gawd
an' Kipling, ye'er punishments ar-re th' nourishment iv th' faithful. My
blood hath served thine f'r manny ginerations. At laste two. 'Twas thine
old man that blacked my father's eye an' sint my uncle up f'r eighty
days. How will ye'er honor have th' accursed swine's flesh cooked f'r
breakfast in th' mornin' when I'm through fannin' ye?'

"But now, says Hogan, it's all changed. Iver since th' Rooshyans were
starved out at Port Arthur and Portsmouth, th' wurrad has passed around
an' ivry naygur fr'm lemon color to coal is bracin' up. He says they
have aven a system of tilly-graftin' that bates ours be miles. They have
no wires or poles or wathered stock but th' population is so thick that
whin they want to sind wurrud along th' line all they have to do is f'r
wan man to nudge another an' something happens in Northern Chiny is
known in Southern Indya befure sunset. And so it passed through th'
undherwurruld that th' color line was not to be dhrawn anny more, an'
Hogan says that almost anny time he ixpicts to see a black face peerin'
through a window an' in a few years I'll be takin' in laundhry in a
basement instead iv occypyin' me present impeeryal position, an' ye'll
be settin' in front iv ye'er cabin home playin' on a banjo an' watchin'
ye'er little pickahinnissies rollickin' on th' ground an' wondhrn' whin
th' lynchin' party'll arrive.

"That's what Hogan says. I niver knew th' subjick races had so much in
thim befure. A few years ago I had no more thought iv Japan thin I have
iv