vast multichood th' Prisident was led out be his wife. He was
supported, or rather pushed, be two iv his burly daughters. He seemed
much confused, an' his wife had to point out th' place where he was to
sign. With tremblin' fingers he affixed his signature an' was led back.

"'The night passed quietly. Th' sthreets were crowded all avenin' with
good-natured throngs iv ladies, an' in front iv th' dry goods stores,
which were illuminated f'r th' occasion, it was almost impossible to get
through. Iv coorse there were th' usual riochous scenes in th' dhrug
stores, where th' bibulous gathered at th' sody-wather counthers an'
cillybrated th' victory in lemon, vanilla, an' choc'late, some iv thim
keepin' it up till 9 o'clock, or aven later.' 'Whin that comes about,
me child,' says I, 'ye may sheathe ye'er hat pins in ye'er millinary,
f'r ye'll have as much right to vote as th' most ignorant man in th'
ward. But don't ask f'r rights. Take thim. An' don't let anny wan give
thim to ye. A right that is handed to ye f'r nawthin' has somethin' th'
matther with it. It's more than likely it's on'y a wrong turned inside
out,' says I. 'I didn't fight f'r th' rights I'm told I injye, though to
tell ye th' truth I injye me wrongs more; but some wan did. Some time
some fellow was prepared to lay down his life, or betther still, th'
other fellows', f'r th' right to vote.'"

"I believe ye're in favor iv it ye'ersilf," said Mr. Hennessy.

"Faith," said Mr. Dooley, "I'm not wan way or th' other. I don't care.
What diff'rence does it make? I wudden't mind at all havin' a little
soap an' wather, a broom an' a dusther applied to pollyticks. It
wudden't do anny gr-reat harm if a man cudden't be illicted to office
onless he kept his hair combed an' blacked his boots an' shaved his chin
wanst a month. Annyhow, as Hogan says, I care not who casts th' votes
iv me counthry so long as we can hold th' offices. An' there's on'y wan
way to keep the women out iv office, an' that's to give thim a vote."

THE BACHELOR TAX

"This here pa-aper says," said Mr. Hennessy, "that they're goin' to put
a tax on bachelors. That's r-right. Why shudden't there be a tax on
bachelors? There's one on dogs."

"That's r-right," said Mr. Dooley. "An' they're goin' to make it five
dollars a year. Th' dogs pay only two. It's quite a concession to us.
They consider us more thin twice as vallyable, or annyhow more thin
twice as dangerous as dogs. I suppose ye expect