ile in a sthreet car, where
he lay dozin' fr'm dhrink, he awoke to see a beautiful woman thryin' to
find a nickel in a powder puff. Th' brutal conductor towered over her,
an' it was more thin th' Gin'ral cud bear. Risin' to his feet, with an
oath, he pulled th' rope iv th' fare register an' fell off th' car.

"Th' incident made a deep impression on th' Gin'ral. I have no doubt he
often thought iv his beautiful Madonna iv th' throlly, although he
niver said so. But wan night as he staggered out iv th' dinin'-room at
th' German Ambassadure's, who shud he run acrost but th' fair vision iv
th' surface line. She curtsied low an' picked him up, an' there began a
frindship so full iv sorrow an' happiness to both iv thim. He seldom
mintioned her, but wan night he was heard to mutter: 'Her face is like
wan iv Rembrand's saints.' A few historyans contind that what he said
was: 'Her face looks like a remnant sale,' but I cannot believe this.

"They exchanged brilliant letters fr manny years, in fact ontil th'
enchanthress was locked up in an insane asylum. I have not been able to
find anny iv his letters, but her's fell into th' hands iv wan iv his
faithful servants, who presarved an' published thim. (Love an' Letters
iv Gin'ral Dhreadnaught an' Alfaretta Agonized; Stolen, Collected an'
Edited be James Snooper.) * * * Next year was mim'rable f'r his gloryous
victhry at Punkheim, all th' more wondherful because at th' time our
hero was sufferin' fr'm deleeryyum thremens.

"It shows th' fortitude iv th' Gin'ral an' that he was as gr-reat a
liar as I have indicated in th' precedin' pages, that with th' cheers iv
his sojers ringin' in his ears, he cud still write home to his wife:
'Ol' girl--I can't find annything fit to dhrink down here. Can't ye sind
me some cider fr'm th' farm.' * * * In 1865 he was accused iv
embezzlemint, but th' charges niver reached his ears or th' public's
ontil eight years afther his death. * * * In 67' his foster brother,
that he had neglected in Kansas City, slipped on his ballroom flure an'
broke his leg. * * * In '70 his wife died afther torturin' him f'r fifty
years. They were a singularly badly mated couple, with a fam'ly iv
fourteen childher, but he did not live long to enjoy his happiness. F'r
some reason he niver left his house, but passed away within a month, one
of th' gr-reatest men th' cinchry has projooced. For further details iv
th' wrong things he done see th' notes at th' end iv th' volume.'