he Lad with the White Apron, and with nothing to
inhale except Ozone, the unhappy Bon Vivant was compelled to put up
with these most unnatural Conditions.

When he was tired of dozing he could take his choice of any kind of
Milk and read a few more pages of Robinson Crusoe.

Then ensued the Miracle.

His Nerves began to unspiral themselves and lie down. He began to sit
up and listen for the Toot of the Dinner Horn.

As soon as he could hobble on Crutches they put him on the Hay Scales,
and he thought the Thing was out of Whack, for he had taken on 4
Pounds.

The Fresh Garden Truck seemed superior to any that he had been able to
obtain in the Best Restaurants.

What was more amazing, he now evinced a critical Interest in
Clydesdale Colts and Leghorn Roosters, although nothing of the sort
had ever come into his Life while he had an Apartment in Forty-seventh
Street.

When he took his game Leg back to the Metropolis, he hurried to the
Club and made a startling Report to all the broken-down Sports
assembled in the Card-Room.

He said he had discovered the only Climate in the World. It had
Switzerland skinned and was not enervating, like Florida, for he had
been sleeping like a Baby and felt like a 2-year-old every G.M., in
spite of the fact that he could not get his regular Rations.

He wanted to organize a Company and build a Million Dollar Hotel at
Once.

With a New York Steward to supply the Table and a well-stocked Cellar,
the Resort ought to get all the classy Trade, for he hoped to die if
the Air out there hadn't done more for him in One Month than Europe
had done in the whole Year.

MORAL: Nature will sometimes help the Unfortunate who finds it
impossible to reach out and help Himself.

THE NEW FABLE OF THE FATHER WHO JUMPED IN

Once there was a leading Citizen with only one Daughter, but she was
Some Offspring.

Bernice was chief Expense Account and Crown Jewel of a Real Estate
Juggler who had done so well that all the Strap-Hangers regarded him
as an Enemy to Society.

Papa was foolish, even as a Weasel.

He was what you might call Honest, which signified that all of his Low
Work had been done by Agents.

A Person of rare judgment, withal. He never copped a piece of bulky
Swag unless he had a Wheelbarrow with him at the time.

He had been going East with the Green Goods ever since the Party in
Power precipitated the first Panic.

He had Stacks of the Needful, and his Rating was AA