or our Sufferings unless we convince the Neighbors that we
had a run for our Money. It was a troubled Nightmare, in Spots, but
when I lecture in the Church Parlor I am going to burn Joss Sticks and
pull every variety of Bunk made famous by Sir Edwin Arnold and
Lafcadio Hearn."

On the following Tuesday, Selena appeared at the Club with her
Mandarin Coat and the long Hindoo Ear-Rings. She had them frozen in
their Chairs.

MORAL: Be it ever so Hard to Take, there is no Place like away from
Home.

THE NEW FABLE OF THE TOILSOME ASCENT AND THE SHINING TABLE-LAND

Once upon a time, out in the Rubber Boot Reservation, the Stork came
staggering up to a Frame Dwelling with a hefty Infant. The arrival was
under the Zodiacal Sign of Taurus, the Bull. Every Omen was
propitious.

When the Gallery was admitted, on the third day, the gaping Spectators
observed that the Youngun had an open Countenance, somewhat like a
Channel Cat, a full head of Hair bushing at the nape of the neck, and
a hypnotic Eye; so they knew he was destined for the Service of the
Public.

Even while he was in the custody of the Old Women of the Township, he
began reaching for everything he saw and testing his Voice. He claimed
his Rations frequently and with insistence.

While he was demonstrating an elastic Capacity, the head Prophetess
called attention to his aggressive Style and predicted a political
Career.

It was a cinch Horoscope, for the Begetters were a successful
Auctioneer and a Poetess of local repute.

The Child was christened Sylvester, in anticipation of his Future
Greatness.

Several years later, when he rebelled against going to the Barber Shop
and began to speak Pieces on the slightest provocation, the Parents
rejoiced over these budding symptons of Statesmanship and bought him a
Drum.

At school he was a Dummy in Mathematics and a Lummux when it came to
Spelling Down, but every Friday afternoon he was out in the lead,
wearing Bells.

Before he acquired a Vocabulary or accumulated Data, he got by on his
Nerve. In later years he never forgot that Facts are non-essential if
the Vocal Cords are in tune.

When the Pupils tackled the old standby, "Resolved, that Education is
better than Riches," he could tremolo on the Affirmative one week and
then reverberate for the Negative one week later, never doubting his
own Sincerity at any stage of the Game.

The grinding classmates who had secured the mark of A in Geometry and