for having made such a Success of her Life.

They dwelt in a two-story Frame with countless Dewdads and Thingumbobs
tacked along the Eaves and Scalloped around the Bay Windows.

The Country People who came in to see the Eighth Wonder of the World
used to stand in silent Awe, breathing through their Noses.

Out on the lawn, surrounded by Geraniums, was a Cast-Iron Deer which
seemed to be looking at the Court House in a startled Manner. It was
that kind of a Court House.

In her Front Room, the daughter of Rufus and Susan had Wonderful Wax
Flowers, sprinkled with Diamond Dust; a What-Not bearing Mineral
Specimens, Conch-Shells, and a Star-Fish, also some Hair-Cloth
Furniture, very slippery and upholstered with Sand.

After Hiram gave her the Black Silk and paid for the Crayon
Enlargements of her Parents, Jennie did not have the Face to bone him
for anything more, but she longed in secret and Hiram suspected.

Jennie was a soprano. Not a regular Soprano, but a Country-Town
Soprano, of the kind often used for augmenting the Grief at a Funeral.
Her voice came from a point about two inches above the Right Eye.

She had assisted a Quartette to do things to "Juanita," and sometimes
tossed out little Hints about wishing she could practice at Home.
Jennie was a Nice Woman but she _did_ need Practice.

Although Hiram was tighter than the Bark on a Sycamore, he liked to
have other Women envy the Mother of His Children.

When he spread himself from a Shin-Plaster, he expected a Fanfare of
Trumpets.

It took him a long time to unwind the String from the Wallet, but he
would Dig if he thought he was boosting his own Game.

By stealthy short-weighting of the Country Trade and holding out on
the Assessor, he succeeded in salting away numerous Kopecks in one
corner of the Safe.

While in Chicago to buy his Winter Stock, he bargained for two days
and finally bought a Cottage Melodeon, with the Stool thrown in.

Jennie would sit up and pump for Hours at a time, happy in the
knowledge that she had drawn the Capital Prize in the Lottery of
Hymen.

In the year 1886 there was some Church Wedding at the County-Seat.

Frances, daughter of Hiram and Jennie, had knocked the Town a Twister
when she came home from the Female College wearing Bangs and toting a
Tennis Racquet.

All the local Gallants, with Cocoa-Oil in their hair and Rings on
their Cravats, backed into the Shubbery.

Hiram had bought her about $1800 worth of Haute