eaker so that he could
maneuver around and get something into the Record before his time was
up.

In the meantime, he is heard to advantage on every Roll Call, and the
Traducers back in the District have not been able to lay a finger on
anything Crooked.

MORAL: There is always Room and Board at the Top.

THE NEW FABLE OF THE AERIAL PERFORMER, THE BUZZING BLONDINE AND THE
DAUGHTER OF MR. JACKSON

Once upon a time a Lad with Cinnamon Hair and wide blue Eyes lived in
a half-portion Town.

He had received more than 2000 Tickets for answering "Here" at the
M. E. Sunday School.

His kinfolk hoped that some day he would be President of the Town
Board.

Shortly after he learned to roll a safe game of Pool, his Governor
demised.

Robert, such being the full front name of the sole Heir, found that he
could not spread his Pinions in the narrow Streets of the
lichen-covered Hamlet.

So he blew. He went to find an Avenue that would accommodate seven
Zeppelin Air-Ships moving abreast at one time.

He closed out the Dry Goods Emporium with the Shirt-Waists and the
shameless Hosiery in the Windows.

An Apartment Building, with Packages delivered at the rear, soon began
to flaunt itself on the site of the old Manse.

With all the currency corraled by the late Store-Keeper padded into
his Norfolk Jacket, the gallus Offspring hurried to the Metrop to pick
the Primroses.

In a short time he was out at the Track every day, barking at the
Goats as they hove into the Stretch.

The pencil-borrowing Touts and the Wine Pushers began to call him Bob,
which proved that he was a Man about Town.

When the final Kiflukus was put on the Ponies, he assembled the
residue of his Bundle and began to work steady as a Guesser in a
Broker's Office.

His job was to show at 10 G.M. with a big Reina Victoria at one
extreme corner of his Face and pretend to know what was coming off
when the Boy put the funny marks on the Blackboard.

Ever and anon he would buy 1000 Shares of something, as if Negotiating
for a Bread-Ticket.

As a rule, the tall-grass Plunger with a wad of new Kale has about the
same percentage in his favor as that enjoyed by a Shoat out at the
well-known Establishment of Armour & Co.

The Cleaners go forth to meet him, bearing as Gifts a Dream-Book and a
new kind of Cocktail with a Kick like a Coast-Defense Gun.

A few weeks later they are casting lots for his Union Suit.

Bob came from Simpville, but he ha