er with
a $900 prize-winning Pomeranian, directly related to the famous Fifi,
owned by the Countess Skidoogan of Bilcarty.

Later on, he seemed to feel that the Pomeranian had come between him
and Ethel. The Situation became more and more tense, and finally, one
day in Egypt, within plain sight of the majestic Pyramids, he kicked
Precious ever so hard and raised quite a Swelling.

The Legal Adviser said Death was too good for such a Fiend.

In Vienna, though, that was where he went so far that Separation
became inevitable.

Ethel had decided to take an $80,000 Pearl Necklace she had seen in a
Window. It was easily worth that much, and she felt sure she could get
it in without paying Duty. She had been very successful at bringing
things Home.

She could hardly believe her Ears when Hubert told her to forget it
and back up and come out of the Spirit World and alight on the Planet
Earth.

He had been Heartless on previous Occasions, but this was the first
time he had been Mean enough to renig on a mere side-issue such as
coming across with the Loose Change.

Ethel was simply de-termined to have that Necklace, but the unfeeling
Whelp tried to kid her out of the Notion.

Then he started in to Pike. He suggested a $20,000 Tarara of Rubies
and Diamonds as a Compromise. Ethel became wise to the fact that she
had joined out with a Wad.

While she was pulling a daily Sick Headache in the hope of bringing
him to Taw, the Maharajah of Umslopagus came along and bought the
Necklace.

That was when Ethel had to be taken to a Rest Cure in the Austrian
Tyrol, and she never had been the Same Woman since.

To all who had come pleading for Reconciliation, Ethel had simply hung
out the Card, "Nothing Doing."

After a Brute has jumped up and down on the Aching Heart of a Girl of
proud Lineage he can't square himself in 1,000,000 years.

So said Ethel, between the flowing Tears.

Furthermore, there had been hopeless Incompatibility. In all the time
they were together, they never had been able to agree on a Turkish
Cigarette.

The professional Home-Blaster said she had enough on Hubert to get her
four Divorces. The Decree would be a Pipe.

Ethel said she hoped so and to please push it along, as she had quite
a Waiting-List.

MORAL: Rufus had no business buying the Clock.

THE NEW FABLE OF THE SCOFFER WHO FELL HARD AND THE WOMAN SITTING BY

One day in the pink dawn of the present Century, a man with his Hair
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