ucted out
of the 40 words of standard Baby Talk, comprising what is known as the
Mush Vocabulary.

Yet they had to muster the same old property Smile every time that
Charley Bromide or old Mr. Platitude lifted a shell of sparkling
Vinegar and fervently exclaimed, "Thuh Bride!"

Even after the Menu had been wrecked and the satiated Revelers had
laboriously pried themselves away from the decorated Board, there was
no escape.

The Women Folks led Adele away to some remote Apartment to sound a Few
Warnings, while the Men sat around in the Blue Smoke and joshed
Ferdinand to a fare-ye-well.

Each morning he found in his Mail a few Sealed Orders from
Headquarters and about as many Stage Directions as would be required
for putting on the Annual Show at the Hippodrome.

When he was not begging some one to come and Ush for him, he was
either checking over the Glove List with a terrified Best Man or
getting measured for a full layout of dark Livery that made him look
like a refined Floor-Walker.

It seemed that Adele had a Step-Mother who had been crouched for Years
waiting for a chance to bust into the Papers. Nothing would do her but
a regular Madison Square Phantasmagoria, with two Rings and an
elevated Platform.

She wanted Ribbons down the Aisle and little Girls sprinkling Posies,
a Concert Orchestra buried under the Palms, and a few extra Ministers
of the Gospel just to dress the Pulpit.

Every superfluous Accessory devised by the Nerve Specialist and
approved by the Court of Bankruptcy was woven into the Nuptial Circus
when Ferdinand and Adele were made one and Unhookable.

The Rehearsals somewhat resembled the Moving Pictures of the Durbar at
Delhi.

As a final Preparation for the Stupendous Pageant, the Groom sat up
all night in the Dipsomania Club, watching the Head-Liners of the Blue
Book demolish Glassware.

According to the dictates of Fashion, one who is about to assume the
solemn Responsibilities of Matrimony should abstain from Slumber for a
week, devoting the time thus saved to a full consideration of Food and
Drink.

The Ambulance bore his Remains to the Church. A few faithful
Hang-Overs lifted him through the Portals, with his Toes dragging
somewhat in the Rear.

They propped him against a Pilaster and told him his Name and begged
him not to weaken, no matter what the Preacher might put up to him.

Soon after he saw a Haggard Creature all fluffed about with White
advancing unsteadily toward