or the term of my life, or for the term of the
_Whirlwind's_ life? Suppose the _Whirlwind_ has to be wound up, or
whirl-winded up, and suppose I am still going on, can I intervene to
stop the proceedings, and insist on my contract to be supplied with
a _Whirlwind_ per week for the remainder of my natural or unnatural
life being carried out? If the contract is for our lives, then, as
a life-subscriber, I should insist on the _Whirlwind_ remaining
co-existent with me, so that, up to my latest breath, I might have a
_Whirlwind_. But if the life-subscription of five guineas is only for
the term of the _Whirlwind's_ life, then, I fancy the proprietors,
editor, and staff, that the Hon. STUART ERSKINE and Mr. HERBERT
VIVIAN, who are, I believe, the Proprietors, Editor, and Staff of the
_Whirlwind_, will have by far the better of the bargain. I resist the
temptation, and keep my five pounds five shillings in my pocket, and
am

"Yours truly, THE BARON DE BOOK-WORMS."

* * * * *

OUR NEW ADVERTISEMENT COLUMN.

[All applications in answer to be addressed to the office
of this journal, accompanied by handsome P.O.O, and lots of
shilling stamps, which will in every case be retained, without
acknowledgment, as a guarantee of good faith.]

URGENT CASE.--WANTED, by a little Boy, aged 10, of thoroughly
disagreeable temper, selfish, greedy, ill-mannered, and thoroughly
spoilt at home, a good sound Whipping, weekly, if possible. Great care
will be necessary on the part of applicant in fulfilling requirements,
parents of youth in question, being firmly convinced that he is a
noble little fellow, with a fine manly spirit, just what his dear
Papa was at his age (as is very probably the case) and only requiring
peculiarly gentle and considerate treatment.--Apply (in first
instance, by letter) to Godfather, care of _Mr. Punch_.

* * * * *

TO PARENTS AND GUARDIANS,--affectionate but practical-minded, and
anxious to find economical homes (somewhere else) for young gentlemen
who cannot get on without expensive assistance at starting in Mother
country, owing to excessive competition in laborious and over-crowded
professions. A firm of enterprising Agents offer bracing and
profitable occupation (coupled with the use _gratis_, of two broken
spades, an old manure-cart, and an axe without a handle) in a
peculiarly romantic and unhealthy district in the backwoods of