d reply, classically and correctly,
"_Adsum!_" Yours truly, AN OVER-ETON BOY.

* * * * *

[Illustration: LAT. 60 deg. 8' N. LONG. 4 deg. 30' E.

_Mr. Punch en route for the Midnight Sun. First glimpse of Norway._]

* * * * *

"THE CUP THAT CHE-(HIC)-ERS!"

The Total Abstainer staggered to his feet. The room seemed to be
waltzing round him, and his legs acted independently of each other.
One of those legs tried to walk to the right, whilst the other moved
to the left! He looked in the mirror and saw a double reflection!
He had two noses, a couple of mouths, four eyes, and countless
whiskers. This made him merry, and he laughed in very glee. But
only for a while! Soon he became utterly depressed. Then his head
ached--horribly! He tried to sleep--he could not! "Never too late--to
MENDAL!" he gasped out, uttering in his extreme agitation the name of
a Physician of Berlin who had made inebriety a special study.

Then his muscles became weak and trembling, his aversion to labour
increased, and he had scarcely the energy or power to observe that
his complexion (in patches) was ruddier than the cherry.

"Alas!" he sighed, and he succumbed permanently to persistent
dyspepsia!

And what was the cause of this unfortunate, this terrible condition?
Sad to say, the question was easily answered. The Total Abstainer had
taken a drop too much--of Coffee!

* * * * *

CATCHING;

OR, HOW FAR WILL IT GO?

(BEING A FORECAST OF THE SPREAD OF THE STRIKE FEVER, FROM A NEXT
WEEK'S DIARY.)

_Wednesday_.--All the Police, having now been replaced by Amateur
Special Constables, who are as yet unfamiliar with their duties, the
position of the Metropolitan Magistrates becomes impossible, and
they resign in a body at five minutes' notice, causing the greatest
consternation in signalling their resignation by sending every case
on the charge-sheet that morning for trial to a superior Court.

_Thursday_.--The Judges, overwhelmed by the prospect of an unusual and
quite impossible amount of extra work, demand the increase of their
salaries to L10,000 per annum. On this being categorically refused
by the Treasury, they then and there, on their respective Benches,
severally tear off their wigs and robes, and quit their Courts "for
good," with threatening gestures.

_Friday_.--The LORD CHANCELLOR, on being informed of the conduct of
the Judges, ri