k word what
you think_;" i.e., "Now to flee!"

AT LORD'S.

"_Yes, I'm so fond of Cricket_;" i.e., "How can I find out if Oxford
or Cambridge is in?"

"_Don't move, pray_;" i.e., "If she doesn't, I shall be smothered in
lobster-salad!"

"_Not the least in my way, thanks_;" i.e., "Does she think I can see
through her parasol?"

"_Pray join us at lunch! Heaps of room in the carriage_;" i.e., "Hope
she doesn't! It only holds four, and we're six already."

"_Don't they call a hit to the left like that, a Drive?_" i.e.,
"Young-rich--good-looking--worth catching--looks as if he liked 'sweet
simplicity.'"

ELECTIONEERING.

"_Has at heart the best interests of the Borough_;" i.e., Means to
subscribe largely to all local clubs and charities.

"_The honour of representing you in Parliament_;" i.e., "The pleasure
of advertising myself."

"_I should wish to keep my mind open on that subject_;" i.e., "I
cannot afford to commit myself just yet."

PARLIAMENTARY.

"_I have never heard such an astounding argument_;" i.e., "Since I
last employed it myself."

"_To come to the real question at issue_;" i.e., "To introduce my one
strong point."

"_I do not pledge myself to these figures_;" i.e., "The next speaker
will very likely show them to be absolutely unreliable."

IN THE SMOKING-ROOM.

"_Oh, as to all that, I quite agree with you_;" i.e., "I wasn't
listening."

"_I rather understood that you were arguing, &c., &c._;" i.e., "You
are now flatly contradicting yourself."

* * * * *

DISCIPLINE!

(A FARCICAL TRAGEDY, IN TWO SCENES--NOT LICENSED FOR
REPRESENTATION.)

SCENE I.--THE BARRACK SQUARE. PRESENT--NO. 1 COMPANY, AWAITING
INSPECTION.

_Captain_ (_to Subaltern_). Have you proved them?

_Subaltern_. Sorry, Sir, but the men say they know their places, and
it is useless labour.

_Capt._ Very well--I daresay they are right. You know we have been
told to be conciliatory. Open order! March! For inspection--port arms!

[Illustration]

_Sergeant_ (_stepping forward, and saluting_). Beg pardon, Sir,
but the men are under the impression that you wish to examine their
rifles?

_Capt._ Certainly. (_To Subaltern_). Take the rear rank, while I look
after the front.

_Serg._ Beg pardon, Sir, but the men haven't taken open order yet.
They say that they are responsible for their rifles when they have to
use them before the enemy, and you may rely upon it that they will