LEY.

The merry bells do naught but ring,
The streets are gay with flag and pennant,
The birds more sweetly seem to sing--
A Heart to Let has found a TENNANT!
No more will HENRY MORTON roam,
Nor from your charms away for long go,
But, honeymooning here at home,
Forget he ever saw the Congo!

To Oxford 'twas your husband went--
The stately home of Don and Proctor--
Where, 'mid the deafening cheers that rent
The air, he straight became a Doctor.
As one whose valour none can shake,
We've sung him in a thousand ditties,
And freedoms too we've made him take
Of goodness knows how many cities!

Yet while to honour and to praise
With one another we've been vying,
Has he not told us for the days
Of rest to come he ne'er ceased sighing?
And when, with pomp of high degree,
Your marriage vows and troth you plighted,
Why, everyone was glad to see
Art and Adventure thus united!

"To those about to Marry.--Don't!"
So _Mr. Punch_ did once advise us.
Spread the advice? I'm sure you won't.
A course which hardly need surprise us.
O lovely wife of one we think
Above all others brave and manly,
We clink our glasses as we drink
Long life and health to Mrs. STANLEY!

* * * * *

THE ANGLO-GERMAN CONCERTINA.

"I confess I was not at all prepared for the feelings that
some South Africans appear to entertain with respect to our
conduct in the recent negotiations"--_Lord Salisbury to
the Deputation of African Merchants respecting the proposed
Anglo-German Agreement._

[Illustration: _Imperial Instrumentalist_ (_loquitur_). "WHAT, NOT
LIKE THE TONE OF IT? WELL, YOU _DO_ SURPRISE ME!!!"]

I fancied that this Instrument
Would make a great sensation
And that its music would content
The critics and the nation,
I know it is what vulgar folks
Christen the "Constant-screamer;"
I thought _you_'d scorn such feeble jokes;
It seems I was a dreamer.
You writhe your lips, you close your ears!
Dear me! Such conduct tries me.
You do not like it, it appears
Well, well,--you _do_ surprise me!

'Tis not, I know, the Jingo drum,
Nor the "Imperial" trumpet.
(The country to their call won't come,
However much you stump it.)
They're out of fashion; 'tis not now
As in the days of "BEAKEY."
People dislike the Drum's tow-row.
And call th