liday.

_Wednesday_.--Railway Directors, Sweeps, Chairmen of Public Companies,
Coal-Heavers, Provincial Mayors, Dentists, Travelling Circus
Proprietors, Fish Contractors, Beadles, Cabinet Ministers, Street
Scavengers, Dog Fanciers, Archbishops, Gas Fitters, Hereditary
Legislators, Prize Fighters, Poor-Law Guardians, Lion Tamers,
Green-Grocers, and many other discontented members of the community,
having all joined in a universal strike, society, becomes totally
disorganised, and the entire country quietly but, effectually
collapses, and disappears from the European system.

* * * * *

SHAKSPEARE ONCE AGAIN, ADAPTED TO THE SITUATION.

(SEE _TITUS ANDRONICUS_, ACT II., SC. 1.)

_AARON (THE AGITATOR) LOQUITUR_.--

For shame, be friends, and join for that you jar:
'Tis Union and Strikes, my lads, must do
That you affect; and so must you resolve
That what you cannot severally achieve,
United you may manage as you will.
A speedier course than lingering languishment
Must we pursue, and I have found the path.
My lads, a biggish business is in hand;
Together let brave British Bobbies troop:
The City streets are numerous and wealthy,
And many unfrequented nooks there be,
Fitted by kind for violence and theft;
But take you thence, and many a watchful ruffian
Will soon strike home, by force and not by words:
This way, or not at all, stand you in hope.
Come, come, our comrades, with more sluggish wit,
To vigilance and duty consecrate,
Will we acquaint with all that we intend,
And we will so commit them to our cause
That they cannot stand off or "square" themselves;
But to your wishes' height you'll all advance.
The City's courts have houses of ill-fame,
Town's palaces are full of wanton wealth,
The slums are ruthless, ravenous ripe for crime.
_Then speak, and strike, brave boys, and take your turn_!

* * * * *

[Illustration: INFELICITOUS QUOTATIONS.

_Fair Authoress_. "SO SORRY TO BE SO LATE. I'M AFRAID I'M _LAST_!"

_Genial Host_. "'_LAST_--BUT NOT _LEAST_!'"]

* * * * *

SONG SENTIMENTIANA.

(_A DELIGHTFUL "ALL-THE-YEAR-SOUND" RESORT FOR THE FASHIONABLE
COMPOSER._)

EXAMPLE V.--OF THE TRANSFORMATIVE POWERS OF LOVE, UNDER CONDITION OF
PROXIMITY.

When thou art near, the hemisphere
Commissioned to surround me,
(As well as you,) is subject to
Some cha