om, Adoniah; wise
men's sons are commonly fools, insomuch that Spartian concludes, _Neminem
prope magnorum virorum optimum et utilem reliquisse filium_: [5790]they had
been much better to have been childless. 'Tis too common in the middle
sort; thy son's a drunkard, a gamester, a spendthrift; thy daughter a fool,
a whore; thy servants lazy drones and thieves; thy neighbours devils, they
will make thee weary of thy life. [5791]"If thy wife be froward, when she
may not have her will, thou hadst better be buried alive; she will be so
impatient, raving still, and roaring like Juno in the tragedy, there's
nothing but tempests, all is in an uproar." If she be soft and foolish,
thou wert better have a block, she will shame thee and reveal thy secrets;
if wise and learned, well qualified, there is as much danger on the other
side, _mulierem doctam ducere periculosissimum_, saith Nevisanus, she will
be too insolent and peevish, [5792]_Malo Venusinam quam te Cornelia mater_.
Take heed; if she be a slut, thou wilt loathe her; if proud, she'll beggar
thee, so [5793]"she'll spend thy patrimony in baubles, all Arabia will not
serve to perfume her hair," saith Lucian; if fair and wanton, she'll make
thee a cornuto; if deformed, she will paint. [5794]"If her face be filthy
by nature, she will mend it by art," _alienis et adscititiis imposturis_,
"which who can endure?" If she do not paint, she will look so filthy, thou
canst not love her, and that peradventure will make thee dishonest.
Cromerus _lib. 12. hist._, relates of Casimirus, [5795]that he was
unchaste, because his wife Aleida, the daughter of Henry, Landgrave of
Hesse, was so deformed. If she be poor, she brings beggary with her (saith
Nevisanus), misery and discontent. If you marry a maid, it is uncertain how
she proves, _Haec forsan veniet non satis apta tibi_. [5796]If young, she
is likely wanton and untaught; if lusty, too lascivious; and if she be not
satisfied, you know where and when, _nil nisi jurgia_, all is in an uproar,
and there is little quietness to be had; If an old maid, 'tis a hazard she
dies in childbed; if a [5797]rich widow, _induces te in laqueum_, thou dost
halter thyself, she will make all away beforehand, to her other children,
&c.--[5798]_dominam quis possit ferre tonantem_? she will hit thee still in
the teeth with her first husband; if a young widow, she is often insatiable
and immodest. If she be rich, well descended, bring a great dowry, or be
nobly a