same predicament forsooth, as an empty boat, she must
carry what, where, when, and whom her father will. So that in these
businesses the father is still for the best advantage; now the mother
respects good kindred, must part the son a proper woman. All which [5860]
Livy exemplifies, _dec. 1. lib. 4._ a gentleman and a yeoman wooed a wench
in Rome (contrary to that statute that the gentry and commonalty must not
match together); the matter was controverted: the gentleman was preferred
by the mother's voice, _quae quam splendissimis nuptiis jungi puellam
volebat_: the overseers stood for him that was most worth, &c. But parents
ought not to be so strict in this behalf, beauty is a dowry of itself all
sufficient, [5861]_Virgo formosa, etsi oppido pauper, abunde dotata est_,
[5862]Rachel was so married to Jacob, and Bonaventure, [5863]_in 4. sent_,
"denies that he so much as venially sins, that marries a maid for
comeliness of person." The Jews, Deut. xxi. 11, if they saw amongst the
captives a beautiful woman, some small circumstances observed, might take
her to wife. They should not be too severe in that kind, especially if
there be no such urgent occasion, or grievous impediment. 'Tis good for a
commonwealth. [5864]Plato holds, that in their contracts "young men should
never avoid the affinity of poor folks, or seek after rich." Poverty and
base parentage may be sufficiently recompensed by many other good
qualities, modesty, virtue, religion, and choice bringing up, [5865]"I am
poor, I confess, but am I therefore contemptible, and an abject? Love
itself is naked, the graces; the stars, and Hercules clad in a lion's
skin." Give something to virtue, love, wisdom, favour, beauty, person; be
not all for money. Besides, you must consider that _Amor cogi non potest_,
love cannot be compelled, they must affect as they may: [5866]_Fatum est in
partibus illis quas sinus abscondit_, as the saying is, marriage and
hanging goes by destiny, matches are made in heaven.

"It lies not in our power to love or hate,
For will in us is overrul'd by fate."

A servant maid in [5867]Aristaenetus loved her mistress's minion, which
when her dame perceived, _furiosa aemulatione_ in a jealous humour she
dragged her about the house by the hair of the head, and vexed her sore.
The wench cried out, [5868]"O mistress, fortune hath made my body your
servant, but not my soul!" Affections are free, not to be commanded.
Moreover it may be