ed
hitherto, suppose this love or good liking be between two alone, both
parties well pleased, there is _mutuus amor_, mutual love and great
affection; yet their parents, guardians, tutors, cannot agree, thence all
is dashed, the match is unequal: one rich, another poor: _durus pater_, a
hard-hearted, unnatural, a covetous father will not marry his son, except
he have so much money, _ita in aurum omnes insaniunt_, as [5857]Chrysostom
notes, nor join his daughter in marriage, to save her dowry, or for that he
cannot spare her for the service she doth him, and is resolved to part with
nothing whilst he lives, not a penny, though he may peradventure well give
it, he will not till he dies, and then as a pot of money broke, it is
divided amongst them that gaped after it so earnestly. Or else he wants
means to set her out, he hath no money, and though it be to the manifest
prejudice of her body and soul's health, he cares not, he will take no
notice of it, she must and shall tarry. Many slack and careless parents,
_iniqui patres_, measure their children's affections by their own, they are
now cold and decrepit themselves, past all such youthful conceits, and they
will therefore starve their children's genus, have them _a pueris [5858]
illico nasci senes_, they must not marry, _nec earum affines esse rerum
quas secum fert adolescentia: ex sua libidine moderatur quae est nunc, non
quae olim fuit_: as he said in the comedy: they will stifle nature, their
young bloods must not participate of youthful pleasures, but be as they are
themselves old on a sudden. And 'tis a general fault amongst most parents
in bestowing of their children, the father wholly respects wealth, when
through his folly, riot, indiscretion, he hath embezzled his estate, to
recover himself, he confines and prostitutes his eldest son's love and
affection to some fool, or ancient, or deformed piece for money.

[5859] "Phanaretae ducet filiam, rufam, illam virginem,
Caesiam, sparso ore, adunco naso"------

and though his son utterly dislike, with Clitipho in the comedy, _Non
possum pater_: If she be rich, _Eia_ (he replies) _ut elegans est, credas
animum ibi esse_? he must and shall have her, she is fair enough, young
enough, if he look or hope to inherit his lands, he shall marry, not when
or whom he loves, _Arconidis hujus filiam_, but whom his father commands,
when and where he likes, his affection must dance attendance upon him. His
daughter is in the