quidem
effugiet_.

1. Hast thou means? thou hast none to keep and increase it.--2. Hast none?
thou hast one to help to get it.--3. Art in prosperity? thine happiness is
doubled.--4. Art in adversity? she'll comfort, assist, bear a part of thy
burden to make it more tolerable.--5. Art at home? she'll drive away
melancholy.--6. Art abroad? she looks after thee going from home, wishes
for thee in thine absence, and joyfully welcomes thy return.--7. There's
nothing delightsome without society, no society so sweet as matrimony.--8.
The band of conjugal love is adamantine.--9. The sweet company of kinsmen
increaseth, the number of parents is doubled, of brothers, sisters,
nephews.--10. Thou art made a father by a fair and happy issue.--11. Moses
curseth the barrenness of matrimony, how much more a single life?--12. If
nature escape not punishment, surely thy will shall not avoid it.

All this is true, say you, and who knows it not? but how easy a matter is
it to answer these motives, and to make an _Antiparodia_ quite opposite
unto it? To exercise myself I will essay:

1. Hast thou means? thou hast one to spend it.--2. Hast none? thy beggary
is increased.--3. Art in prosperity? thy happiness is ended.--4. Art in
adversity? like Job's wife she'll aggravate thy misery, vex thy soul, make
thy burden intolerable.--5. Art at home? she'll scold thee out of
doors.--6. Art abroad? If thou be wise keep thee so, she'll perhaps graft
horns in thine absence, scowl on thee coming home.--7. Nothing gives more
content than solitariness, no solitariness like this of a single life,--8.
The band of marriage is adamantine, no hope of losing it, thou art
undone.--9. Thy number increaseth, thou shalt be devoured by thy wife's
friends.--10. Thou art made a cornuto by an unchaste wife, and shalt bring
up other folks' children instead of thine own.--11. Paul commends marriage,
yet he prefers a single life.--12. Is marriage honourable? What an immortal
crown belongs to virginity?

So Siracides himself speaks as much as may be for and against women, so
doth almost every philosopher plead pro and con, every poet thus argues the
case (though what cares _vulgus nominum_ what they say?): so can I conceive
peradventure, and so canst thou: when all is said, yet since some be good,
some bad, let's put it to the venture. I conclude therefore with Seneca,

------"cur Toro viduo jaces?
Tristem juventam solve: mine luxus rape,
Effun