e returned safely.

_Happy Thought (to suggest to ladies)._--Why shouldn't there be a
sisterhood of chaperons? Let somebody start it. "Oh!" says a young lady,
"I can't go there wherever it is, because I can't go alone, and I
haven't got a chaperon."

Now carry out the idea. The young lady goes to The Home (this sort of
establishment is always a Home--possibly because people to be hired are
never _not_ at home),--well, she goes to the Home, sees the lady
superioress or manageress, who asks her what sort of a chaperon she
wants. She doesn't exactly know; but say, age about 50, cheerful
disposition, polished manners.

Good. Down comes photograph book.

Young lady inspects chaperons and selects one.

She comes downstairs. "Is she," asks the lady manageress, "to be dressed
for evening or for day, a fete or for what?"

Well then, that's all settled.

Terms, so much an hour, and something for herself. What the French call
a _pour boire_.

This is a genuinely good idea, and one to be adopted, I am sure. What an
excellent profession for ladies of good family and education, of a
certain age, and an uncertain income.

They might form a Social Beguinage, on the model of the one at Ghent. No
vows. All sorts of dresses. All sorts of feeding. Respectable address.
And a Home.

Boodels' grandmother, it turns out, is deaf.

Here again what a recommendation for a chaperon! and how very few
employments are open to deaf people. No harmless, bodily ailment would
disqualify, except a violent cold and sneezing.

A chaperon with a song: useful. Consider this idea in futuro. Put it
down and assist the others in our list.

We ought to make our company a good salad.

I propose my friend, Jenkyns Soames.

Jenkyns Soames is a scientific man.

"We mustn't be _dull_," says Boodels, which I feel is covertly an
objection to my friend.

[Illustration: JENKYNS SOAMES, ESQ.
(_Professor of Scientific Economy._)]

Chilvern says that he thinks we ought to have an old man.

What for?

Well, ... he hesitates, then says, politely, that with all young ones,
won't Mrs. Boodels be rather dull?

(_Happy Thought._--Old man for Mrs. Boodels, to talk to her through her
ear-trumpet.)

Boodels says, "Oh, no! his grandmother's never dull."

Milburd observes, that this choosing is like making up characters for a
play. He takes in a theatrical newspaper, and proposes that we should
set down what we want, aft