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_The Scene is laid in Aix-la-Chapelle, at the Hotel known as
Die Schweine und die Pfeiffer._

_Time._--There being no time like The Present, we choose the present
time.

The Orchestra under the superintendence of MISS CATHERINE MEDFORD.

Stage Manager, R. MILBURD.

Prompter, GEORGE A. MEDFORD.

[Illustration: OUR STAGE.]

PENELOPE ANNE.

The Curtain being drawn up:--

_The scene represents a public room in the small Hotel
above-mentioned, at Aix-la-Chapelle._

_Doors R.H. and L.H. Also a door C. leading on to a garden._

_Time, late in Autumn._

_On the table are various papers, books, &c._

_Enter COX._

_Everybody applauds him. The Signor says, aloud, "_Oh 'ow good! eet
is Deeck_," and looks about, proud of his penetration of his
nephew's disguise, when Madame observes, "_Mr. Regniati, if you
can't be quiet, you'd better go out_," whereupon the Signor
confines himself to smiling and nodding to different people among
the audience, intimating thereby his intense satisfaction with
everything that is taking place on the stage._

[Illustration: COUNT COXO.]

_COX is in full tourist style of the most recent fashion. Over this
he wears a top-coat and round his throat a cache-nez. In one hand he
holds a large glass of water._

_He walks up and down on entering. Drinks a little. Takes off his
coat, which he throws on the sofa. Then drinks again. Then walks.
Then removes the cache-nez, which he throws on to coat, then he
stands still and respires freely._

COX.

Phew! I'm only gradually cooling. This is the sixth day I've taken the
waters of Aix-la-Chapelle ... and I'm beginning to be so sulphurous all
over, that, if anybody was to rub against me suddenly, I should ignite
and go off with a bang. I've written to my friend Box an account of it.
I haven't seen Box for some years; but as I particularly wish him to
remain in England just now, I've commenced a correspondence with him.
I've told him that the doctor's orders here are very simple .... "Herr
Cox," says he to me--Herr's German--I must explain that to Box, because,
though Box is a good fellow, yet--he's--in fact--he's an ass. "Herr
Cox," says he