This
just suits the parishioners, and they take it turn and turn about at the
two Churches, the Rector doing duty at both, accommodating himself to
either view as the case may be. One Sunday they're high, another they're
low, and the other Church is _vice versa_.

_Miss Adelaide._ To-day it was the duett of parson and clerk.

_Miss Bella._ Oh, horrid! I'd rather stop at home than hear that. Why at
S. Phillips at home we have vestments, and incense, and everything is
done so well.

_Miss Medford_ (_quietly_). Well, I'd just as soon go to one as another.
May I trouble you for the salt, Signor Regniati?

_Signor._ My Jo! If zey do not preach I vould go--

_Madame_ (_severely_). Mr. Regniati, hand the salt.

_Mrs. Frimmely._ What an absurd cloak that Mrs. Tringmer had.

_Miss Bella._ I suppose she thought it was quite the fashion.

_Mrs. Frimmely._ Who was that lady--Captain Byrton, do _you_ know?--who
came in rustling all up the Church, and so scented! as if she'd stepped
out of a perfumer's.

_Byrton._ Don't know. Perhaps she _has_ stepped out of a perfumer's, and
is an advertisement.

_Happy Thought (for a perfumer)._--To send scented people about.
Questions asked, _e.g._ Stranger (_sniffing_) goes up politely and
inquires, "I beg a hundred pardons, but what scent--what delicious scent
are you wearing?" Then the lady replies, "Don't mention it, Ma'am. It's
(whatever the name is), and there's the card." And gives her the
perfumer's address.

_Miss Adelaide._ I thought Miss Vyner rather prettily dressed.

_Mrs. Frimmely._ Oh! but _did_ you see her gloves! Such a fit!

_Miss Bella._ And such a colour!

_Cazell._ I wonder who that bald-headed man in front of me was? There
was a collection, and he put a sovereign into the plate.

_Chilvern._ I'm always unlucky in that way. Whenever I go to Church
there's always a collection.

_Captain Byrton._ Yes. You kept the man waiting at the pew door for at
least two minutes, while you fumbled in all your pockets. Anyone have
any cheese?

_Chilvern._ I knew I'd got a shilling somewhere--but it was a
fourpenny-bit after all.

_Miss Medford._ How very disturbing it must be for the clergyman, when a
child persists in crying at intervals all through the sermon.

_Mrs. Frimmely._ Yes, little things like that oughtn't to be brought to
church; at least, not to sit out sermons.

_Boodels_ (_with some vague recollection of the baptismal service_). But
you forget, Mrs. Fr