, "you must drink a glass of sulphur wasser." Wasser's
German too; it didn't take long for my naturally fine intellect to
discover that it meant water. But Box doesn't know it ... for though
he's an excellent fellow, he is--in fact he's an ignoramus. "Herr Cox,"
says he to me, "you must take the sulphur wasser, and then walk about."
"What next, Herr Doctor?" says I. Note to Box. _Herr Doctor_ doesn't
mean that he's anything to do with a _Hair_-cutter. No, it's the
respectful German for Mister--must explain that to Box, for though he's
a tiptop chap, yet Box is--is--in fact, Box is a confounded idiot. "Herr
Doctor," says I, "what next?" "Well," says he "when you've taken the
sulphur water and walked about, then you must walk about and take the
sulphur water." Simple. The first glass ... ugh! I shan't forget it. I
never could have imagined, till that moment, what the taste of a summer
beverage made of curious old eggs ... a trifle over ripe ... beaten up
with a lucifer match, would be like ... now I know. But I was not to be
conquered. Glass number two was not so bad. Glass number three .... less
unpalatable than glass number two--glass number four ... um, between
number three and number four a considerable time was allowed to elapse,
as I found I had been going it too fast. But now my enfeebled health is
gradually being renovated, and they tell me that when I leave this, I
shall be "quite another man." I don't know what other man I shall be.
Yes I do. I am now a single man. I hope to leave here a double, I mean a
married man. Cox, my boy, that's what you've come here for. Cox, my boy,
that's why you want to keep, diplomatically, Box, my boy, in England,
and in ignorance of your proceedings. Herr Cox, you're a sly dog. If I
could give myself a dig in the ribs without any internal injury, I'd do
it. I came here for the rheumatism. By the way I needn't have come here
for _that_, as I'd got it pretty strongly. I caught it, without any sort
of trouble. I bathed, at Margate, in the rain. Before I could reach my
bathing machine, I was drenched through and through, I don't know where
to, but long beyond the skin. The injury was more than skin deep. No
amount of exterior scrubbings could cure me. Brandies and waters hot
internally, every day for two months, produced more than the desired
effect. I began to wander. I finished by travelling. And here I am. In
six more lessons on the sulphur spring, I shall be quite the Cure.
(_Dances