not eighty
people in London, Manchester, and Liverpool who could do this and not
miss it so much as I should miss a farthing put by accident into a
Church plate--of course I mean by mistake for half a sovereign.

"But how could such a mistake arise? you would say."

(We wouldn't, but _he_ couldn't tell that.)

"Why simply because I never give less in Church than half a sovereign.
_Ergo_, I never give in Church unless I have half a sovereign in my
pocket. _But_ I _never_ have half a sovereign in my pocket."

[Smiles from everyone, and applause from Milburd, towards whom the
Professor looks appealingly, as much as to say, "There, I can be
just as funny as _you_, only without Tomfoolery."]

"_Ergo ... cela va sans dire._

"So, you see, eighty people could make '=I=' happy.

[Medford is practising his trick with a shilling by himself.]

"Which is equivalent to saying that eighty people could make _me_ happy.

"And '=I=' has it, you observe, in his power to make eighty people happy
by accepting the subscription."

_Note, which I suggest to the Professor._ Should this ever meet the eye
of Baron Rothschild, let him remember, that by his single act, he can
attain to the happiness of eighty people.

"If any of you, here present, happen to be acquainted with the Baron,
and will introduce me to him, it will be, I am sure, a step in the
interests of humanity generally, and not without its beneficial results
to individuals particularly." ("Hear! hear!")

. . . . . . .

With this bit of Practicality the lecture concludes.

He tells me, in confidence, that he finished quickly because he felt he
was "above his audience."

Milburd subsequently offers to introduce the Professor to Baron
Rothschild "for a consideration."

* * *

No one, as yet has found any of the pleasures of Poverty.

Some one says "Absence of Income-tax." This is met with Absence of
Income. Solution rejected.

* * *

We found afterwards on our Scientific Lecturer's table MSS. of

_"Letters to Rothschild" by a Professor of Scientific Economy._

One commences thus:--

Dear Baron,

You will doubtless be surprised at hearing from an humble individual
who has nothing but his Scheme of Personal Scientific Economy, and
his unblemished character, to recommend him to your notice.

I am getting up a subs