of your head with a feather--"

--"Or go up in the pulpit before the sermon, as the rector did--"

--"In a transparency; it's easily managed by--"

--"Another tax on the Spanish coupons--"

--"And a bath every evening with--"

--"My prize pig--"

--"And three or four fireworks--"

_Milburd_ (_decisively_). A capital effect! We'll do it!

[_The ladies rise. Conversation finishes._]

[Illustration: ONE OF THE SURPLICE POPULATION.]

CHAPTER XXI.

COMMENCEMENT OF MY SAYINGS FOR SUNDAYS.

[Illustration]

_First._--Of the bee. If the bee could talk, he would always be boasting
of his business, and would do nothing.

_Moral._--Learn then from the bee, the lesson of silent perseverance.

(I think this _is_ the lesson to be learnt.)

_Second._--The wasp's sting is in its tail. So is a tale-bearer's.

_Moral._--Avoid wasps and tale-bearers.

(This would come among the quips. Still I think it would be a fair
Sunday quip, for even a serious circle.)

_Third._--Stand by Niagara Falls, and abuse them. The falls will go on
the same as ever. Throw mud at them. None will stick. The power of pure
water will wash it away.

_Moral._--A spotless character is protected by its own integrity, and
though men will try to defame it, yet it triumphs in the end.

(Don't care about this moral. Get something better out of it before
to-morrow. It will do for "_material_.")

_Fourth._--We are born for the sake of one another.

_Moral._--Find out for whom you were born, and stick to him, or her.

(Rather a frisky moral this. More for Mondays than Sundays, perhaps.
Marcus Aurelius was a great man. One begins to appreciate the greatness
of a maxim-maker or aphorist, when you try to do something in that line
yourself.)

_Fifth._--You yourself are often like those who offend you.

_Moral._--When you detect the resemblance to yourself in others, treat
them as you deserve to be treated. This may lead to difficulties.

(Something suggested here, by this last word.)

_Sixth._--Difficulties were made to be surmounted.

_Moral._--Go up Mount Ararat and down the other side.

_Seventhly._--The sum of social Christianity: Love your neighbour, and
hate your relations.

(This will do for Sunday. Irony for Sunday. Fun for Friday _a propos_ of
irony. Who ought to have been the best writer of _irony_? _Steele._)

_Eighthly._--In a woman's youth, coquetry i