drift of the question
put to him, or whether he conceived that he was solicited to be the
subject of some benevolent experiments for the advantage of future
generations, it is certain that no man ever looked more positively

[Illustration: ON THE HORN OF A DILEMMA]

than Uncle Peter. At length the true state of the case was made apparent
to him; and the conclusion that he arrived at reflects the greatest
possible credit upon his judgment. He decided, that as the child was a
divided property, for the sake of peace and quietness, the heir of
Applebite should be vaccinated in one arm and inoculated in the other.

* * * * *

FALSE ALARM.

We were paralysed the other day at seeing a paragraph headed "Sibthorpe's
conversion." Our nose grew pale with terror; our hump heaved with
agitation. We thought there existed a greater genius than ourselves and
that some one had discovered that Sibthorp could be converted into
anything but a Member for Lincoln, and buffoon-in-waiting to the House of
Commons. We found, however, that it alluded to a Reverend, and not to OUR
Colonel. Really the newspaper people should be more careful. Such
startling announcements are little better than

[Illustration: SHEE(A)R CRUELTY.]

* * * * *

DOING THE STATE SOME SERVICE.

During the conflagration of the Tower, it was apprehended at one time that
the portion of it called the White Tower would have shared the fate of the
grand store-house,--this was however prevented by hanging _wet blankets_
around it, in which capacity Peter Borthwick, Mr. Plumtre, Col. Percival,
and Lord Castlereagh, kindly offered their personal services and were
found admirably adapted for the purpose.

* * * * *

THE GENTLEMAN'S OWN BOOK.

We will now proceed to the consideration of that indispensable adjunct to
a real gentleman--his purse. This little talisman, though of so much real
importance, is very limited in the materials of its formation, being
confined exclusively to silk. It should generally be of net work, very
sparingly powdered with small beads, and of the most delicate colours,
such conveying the idea that the fairy fingers of some beauteous friend
had wove the tiny treasury. We have seen some of party colours, intended
thereby to distinguish the separate depository of the gold and silver coin
with which it is (presumed) to be stored. This arrangement we