te enough to break a policeman's head, or drive over
an old woman, you will find that your purse will not only add to the
_eclat_ of the transaction, but most materially assist the magistrate
before whom you may be taken in determining that the case is very
trifling, and that a fine of 5s. will amply excuse you from the effects of
that polite epidemic known _vulgo_ as drunkenness. There cannot be a
greater proof of the advantages of a purse than the preceding instance,
for we have known numerous cases in which the symptoms have been precisely
the same, but the treatment diametrically opposite, owing to the absence
of that incontrovertible evidence to character--the purse.

None but a _parvenu_ would carry his money loose; and we know of nothing
more certain to ensure an early delivery of your small account than being
detected by a creditor in the act of hunting a sovereign into the corner
of your pocket.

We have known tailors, bootmakers, hatters, hosiers,
livery-stable-keepers, &c., grow remarkably noisy when refused assistance
to meet heavy payments, which are continually coming due at most
inconvenient seasons; and when repeated denials have failed to silence
them, the _exhibition only_ of the purse has procured the desired
effect,--we presume, by inspiring the idea that you have the means to pay,
but are eccentric in your views of credit--thus producing with the most
importunate dun

[Illustration: A BRILLIANT TERMINATION.]

* * * * *

TREMENDOUS FAILURE.

The Editors present their compliments to their innumerable subscribers,
and beg to say that, being particularly hard up for a joke, they trust
that they will accept of the following as an evidence of

[Illustration: GETTING UNDER WHEY.]

* * * * *

A THOROUGH DRAUGHT.

The extreme proficiency displayed by certain parties in drawing spurious
exchequer-bills has induced them to issue proposals for setting up an
opposition exchequer office, where bills may be drawn on the shortest
notice. As this establishment is to be cunningly united to the Art-Union
in Somerset-House, the whole art of forgery may be there learned in six
lessons. The manufacture of exchequer-bills will be carried on in every
department, from printing the forms to imitating the signatures; in short,
the whole art of

[Illustration: DRAWING TAUGHT.]

* * * * *

THE O'CONNELL PAPERS.