Chelsea_, and _Jack-in-the-Water_ at the Tower-stairs.

_Q._ What is an isthmus?

_A._ A narrow place that joins two continents together, as _Temple bar_,
which joins _Westminster_ to the _City_.

_Q._ How is the Thames water divided?

_A._ Morally speaking, it is divided into river water, pipe water, and
gin-and-water.

_Q._ Where is river water found?

_A._ Anywhere between Vauxhall and London Bridges. It is inhabited
principally by flounders and bargemen.

_Q._ What is pipe water?

_A._ An intermitting stream, having its source at some distant basin. It
usually runs into a cistern, until the water-rates get into arrear, when
the supply ceases through the intervention of a turncock.

_Q._ Where is gin-and-water to be found?

_A._ All over the world; but especially in the vicinity of a cab-stand.

_Q._ In what other manner is the Thames water divided?

_A._ Physically speaking, into oceans, seas, gulfs, bays, straits, lakes
and rivers.

_Q._ What is an ocean?

_A._ Any great body of water whose limits it is impossible to describe, as
_The Floating Bath_ at Southwark-bridge, and _The Real Tank_ at the
Adelphi Theatre.

_Q._ What is a sea?

_A._ Any small collection of water, as at Chel_sea_, Batter_sea._

_Q._ What is a gulf?

_A._ A gulf is any place, the greater part of which is surrounded by
lawyers, as _Lincoln's Inn,--The Court of Chancery_.

_Q._ What is a haven?

_A._ A commodious harbour, where people lie at anchor in perfect security,
as _The Queen's Bench,--The Fleet_, the sight of which is

[Illustration: ENOUGH TO TURN ONE'S HEAD.]

_Q._ What is a strait?

_A._ A strait is a narrow passage which connects two broad principles as
_Wakley's Straits_, which join Radicalism and Conservatism.

_Q._ What is a lake?

_A._ A lake is any small portion of Honesty, entirely surrounded by Self,
as _Peel's Politics_.

_Q._ What is a river?

_A._ A river is a Tax-stream which rises from the Treasury, and runs into
the pockets of the Ministerial party. The People are _the source_ of the
stream--the Ministry is _the mouth_. When the mouth is very wide, it is
called a _Tory mouth_. The _right_ or _left_ banks of a Tax stream are the
_Treasury_ or _Opposition benches_, to the right or left of the Speaker
when he has his back to the source.

_Q._ How are tax streams divided?

_A._ Into _salaries_ and _pensions_.

_Q._ What is _a conflux_?

_A._ Any place where two or more salaries or p